笑容能使其貌不扬的人显得神采奕奕。因此多看看英语笑话可以让自己笑口常开。小编分享爆笑英语笑话故事，希望可以帮助大家!

爆笑英语笑话故事：Rope or Ox?

绳子还是公牛?

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered," Iam out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirtyrope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."

在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。”

"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home."

“但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”

"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice therewas an ox at the other end of that rope."

“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

爆笑英语笑话故事：I Could Do It Slower

我可以干得慢一些

Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

病人：拔一颗牙收费多少?

Dentist: Fifty dollars.

牙医：50美元。

Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?

Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。

爆笑英语笑话故事：Lifetime Warranty

终身保修

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

爆笑英语笑话故事：I Want Her to go Nuts

我要让她发疯

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”

But you're not wearing any of those things.

“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯