英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄

发布时间:2016-10-31 09:45

笑话是幽默的一种表现形式,通过阐述语用因素对英语笑话言语的作用机制,可以探索英语幽默话语的语用特征和动态运行模式。下面小编整理了英语爆笑笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!

英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄

英语爆笑笑话带翻译摘抄

沉默誓言 (中英)

A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.

一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘,去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言,那就是每五年只允许说两个字,作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。

After the first 5 years,the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”

第一个五年过去了,当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时,那人说道“破床”。

When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”

又过了五年,当修道士再次问道他的时候,他回答“猪食”。

After 5 more years,he walked up to the monk and said,"I QUIT!”

第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。

The monk nodded and muttered,“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”

道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料,这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。”

英语爆笑笑话带翻译鉴赏

场景 (中英)

Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well,he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.

你有没有听说过有一个人,当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混,他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。

The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch,because you're next!”

这时那个荡妇喊到:“不,不要这样,你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴,泼妇,下一个死的就是你!”

英语爆笑笑话带翻译赏析

疼痛之极 (中英)

A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院,医生马上让护士去拿止痛药,“不必麻烦您了,医生。”那人说道,“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。”

"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

“比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。

"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM,the thing snapped shut on my balls."

“我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧,一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便,于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上,不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了,那东西夹住了我的皋丸。”

The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

医生听后颤抖了一下,说道“太可怕了,那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”

"When I reached the end of the chain."

“当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。”

英语爆笑笑话带翻译欣赏

与上帝为伍 (中英)

A farmer purchases an old,run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds,the farmhouse is falling apart,and the fences are collapsing all around.

一个农民买了一块破旧荒废的农场,他准备把这块农场变成兴旺的园林。然而目前这块地是杂草丛生,房屋破旧不堪,四周的篱笆也是东倒西歪。

During his first day of work,the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work,saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

在他第一天工作的时候,城里的一个传教士给他送去了祝福:“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想吧!”

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold,it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition,there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens,and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

几个月以后,那个传教士又一次来到农场,快看那,这里与上次相比简直是天壤之别。房屋重新修好了,条件也比以前好多了,成群的牛羊在欢快地吃着青草,地里的庄稼也整整齐齐的排列着。

"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

“太神奇了”,传教士惊呼道:“看那,上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”

"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

“没错,教士,”那个农民说道:“可你也要记住当初这个农场只由上帝一人支配的时候是个什么样子!”

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