笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。小编整理了英语短篇冷笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

英语短篇冷笑话带翻译篇一

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

一位小城市的法官正在处理一个酒后驾车的案件。被告曾经有过酒后驾车的记录，现在需要一个陪审团做出裁决。那时已经是下午四点，找个陪审团来会浪费很多时间。所以，法官就宣布休庭，然后就去随便找些人来充当陪审团。他正好发现在大厅里有十二个律师，就把他们叫来组成了陪审团。

The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

这些律师们认为能做陪审团将会是个新奇的经历，所以就同意和那个法官回到了法庭。审讯十分钟就结束了，因为很明显被告是有罪的。接着，陪审团进行商议，法官做好了回家的准备，每个人都在等待着最后的结果。

After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

差不多三个小时以后，法官已经等不及了，他派法警去看看陪审团是否做出了最后的判决。当法警回来的时候，法官问他:“怎么样?他们做出了最后的判决没有?”

The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

法警摇摇头说:“判决?天哪，他们还在进行推选陪审团主席的演讲呢!”

英语短篇冷笑话带翻译篇二

KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.

KQED电台在几天前宣布，由于资金紧张，他们将刷掉一个叫做《观察评论》的节目。第二天一大早，唐·爱得华兹从专门记录听众反馈意见的电话录音中听到了一位妇女的留言:“我叫朱莉娅，一个老听众了，听说你们要取消《观察评论》这个栏目，我感到非常气愤!我要考虑收回我的资助，除非你们能恢复……”紧接着是一声急促的刹车声，然后是撞击声和玻璃粉碎的声音，并且伴随着朱莉娅的尖叫声:“天那，你们简直快让我发疯了，刚才我和前面的一辆车追尾了，我挂电话了。”接着便是挂上电话后的滴答声。可怜的朱莉娅，其实资金已经重新运转了，《观察评论》这档节目也重新开播了。

英语短篇冷笑话带翻译篇三

A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.

一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘，去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言，那就是每五年只允许说两个字，作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。

After the first 5 years，the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”

第一个五年过去了，当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时，那人说道“破床”。

When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”

又过了五年，当修道士再次问道他的时候，他回答“猪食”。

After 5 more years，he walked up to the monk and said，"I QUIT!”

第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。

The monk nodded and muttered，“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”

道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料，这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。”