国外英语搞笑笑话大全

发布时间:2017-03-08 11:59

英语笑话幽默话语分析的理论不断推陈出新,但是对于把英语作为外语学习的中国读者而言,文化因素在解读幽默的过程中扮演着更加重要的角色。下面是小编带来的国外英语搞笑笑话,欢迎阅读!

国外英语搞笑笑话大全

国外英语搞笑笑话篇一

Rejuvenation pill 返老还童药片

The old age had crept in on Mrs. Daly. Aches and pains bothered her day and night. One day, she received a package with some pills and a letter from her son. The letter said, "Dear Mom, I am sending you some wonder drug called rejuvenation1 pills. It will make you well and years younger."

A few months later, Jimmy came home. Sitting on the porch was a beautiful young lady rocking a cradle with a baby in it sucking the bottle.

"Where is my mother?" Jimmy asked.

"Don't be silly. I am your mother. Those pills were marvelous."

"Imagine, with one pill, you're as beautiful as anyone can be. Once more, you could have a baby, My, they are powerful."

"That's not a baby. That's your father, He took two."

黛丽女士渐渐变老了,身上的疼痛日日夜夜折磨着她。有一天,黛丽收到儿子寄来的一个包裹,里面放着一些药片和一封信,儿子在信中说:“亲爱的妈妈,我给你寄来了一些神奇的药片,返老还童片,吃了后你会变得健康年轻。”

几个月后,吉米回到家,一位年轻美丽的女士坐在门廊上摇着摇篮,摇篮里有个婴儿吸着奶瓶。

“我的妈妈呢?”吉米问。

“别犯傻了,我就是你妈妈,那些药片太神了。”

“真是不可思议,那个药吃了一片就可以美梦成真,再吃一片就可以生个孩子,哇塞,药片可真厉害。”

“那可不是孩子,那是你爸爸,他吃了两片。”

国外英语搞笑笑话篇二

They won't let me fart 就是不准我放屁

One evening a family brings their frail1, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower a garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive2 nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. But after a while she starts to tilt3 to the other side.

The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright, This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So, Ma, How is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies, "Except they won't let me fart."

一个夜晚,一家人把年迈体虚的老母亲送到了敬老院,希望她在那里能得到悉心的照顾。

第二天,护士们给她洗澡,喂她吃不错的早餐,把她安顿在窗旁的椅子上欣赏漂亮的花园。她看上去一切都好,但是过了一会儿,老太太又开始靠向另一边。

两个细心的护士立即跑上前扶起她来。但是过了一会儿老太太开始向另一边侧弯身子。

两个护士再一次跑过去把她扶正。就这样反反复复了一上午。后来家人来看望老太太,看她是不是适应这个新家。“妈,在这里过得怎么样?她们对你好吗?“家人问。“很好,”老太太回答,“就是不准我放屁。”

国外英语搞笑笑话篇三

Role reversal 地位转换

Barbara Walters filed report on gender1 roles in Kuwait a few years prior to the Gulf2 War, and noted3 then that, traditional Islamic fashion, women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

Recently, Barbara returned to Kuwait and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the Kuwaiti women for an explanation.

"This is marvelous," Barbara said, "What enabled women here to achieve their reversal of roles?"

The Kuwaiti woman replied, "Land mines".

海湾战争开始的前几年,芭芭拉.沃斯特对科威特的男女地位进行了报道。她当时注意到:按照伊斯兰教的传统,妇女通常跟在丈夫10英尺远的后面。

最近芭芭拉又来到科威特,她发现,现在男人都走在妻子后面几码远的地方。她走向一名科威特妇女,希望得到解释。

芭芭拉说:“这太神奇了,是什么使科威特妇女成功的转换了男女之间的地位呢?”

那名科威特妇女回答道:“是地雷。”

国外英语搞笑笑话篇四

The divorce 离婚

John had waited for months to get a divorce and now he was free from his domineering wife.

"Free at last!" he screamed, throwing his divorce papers into the air. "Now, I can eat when I want to, watch television when I want to."

Two months later John was found being escorted to jail by a police officer.

A shocked friend, on seeing poor John hand-cuffed, asked, "John, why are you under arrest? I thought your troubles were over when you divorced your wife."

"I couldn't pay my alimony," related John sadly.

"Why couldn't you pay your alimony?"

"My ex-wife has custody1 of the money and my business."

约翰等了好几个月才离婚,现在他终于摆脱了他专横的妻子。

“终于自由了。”他尖叫着,把离婚协议书抛到空中,“现在,我想吃就吃,想看电视就看电视。”

两个月后,有人发现约翰被警官带进了监狱。

一个朋友看见可怜的约翰戴着手铐,感到很震惊,问道:“约翰,你为什么被捕了?我以为你和你妻子离婚了就没什么麻烦了。”

“我付不起我的赡养费。”约翰伤心地回答。

“你为什么付不起你的赡养费呢?”

“我前妻掌握了我的财产和生意啊。”

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