英语是一种语言工具，学习英语的最终目标就是能利用这种工具与别人自由流畅的交流。小编精心收集了两个人的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

两个人的英语笑话篇1

Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident，have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished，but amazingly，neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.

一天，山姆和一个神父都在开车，发生了一起反常的事故，他们俩的车头对头猛撞到一起。两辆车全毁了，但是意外的是俩个人都毫发未伤。

After the crawl out of their cars，Sam sees the priest’s collar and says，"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”

他们从各自的车里爬出来后，山姆看到神父的领子说:“原来你是神父，我叫山姆。看看我们的车，全完了。然而我们还在这里，没有受伤。这一定是上帝的旨意!”

Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely，God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”

山姆看着他的车说:“快来看看这儿，还有一个奇迹!我的车全毁了，但这瓶酒还没有碎。上帝肯定是想让我们喝掉它来庆祝我们的好运。

The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest，who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on，then hands it back to the priest. The priest，baffled, asks，"Aren’t you having any，Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”

神父点头同意了。山姆把酒交给神父，神父喝了一半然后又把酒还给山姆。他接过酒瓶迅速把瓶盖盖上，又把它给了神父。神父不解地问:“难道你不喝吗?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯，我想我还是等着警察来吧。”

两个人的英语笑话篇2

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD)，the FBI，and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局都在尽力证明他们在抓捕罪犯方面是最好的。总统决定考验他们一次。他往森林里放了一只兔子，每一方都得抓住它。

The C1A goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

中央情报局进了森林。他们在森林里布满了动物密探，他们质问所有的植物和矿石目击者。进行了三个月的广泛调查之后，他们宣布兔子根本不存在。

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest，killing everything in it，including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.

联邦调查局进人了森林。两个星期后仍然没有进展，最后他们烧了森林，杀死了里面所有的一切，包括那只兔子，并且他们没有为此而道歉。

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I am a rabbit! I am a rabbit!”

洛杉矶警察局进人了森林。两个小时后他们带着一只被打得遍体鳞伤的黑熊走出来。这只熊喊着:“好吧，好吧!我是只兔子!我是只兔子!”

两个人的英语笑话篇3

A deaf couple checks into a motel very late at night. Upon moving into their assigned room, they go to bed. But in the middle of the night, the woman has a headache，so she goes into the bathroom for aspirin. But she finds none，and remembers that the bottle of aspirin is still in the car. Afraid to go out alone at night, she awakens her husband and asks him to go and get the aspirin from the car. The very groggy husband puts on his robe and toddles wearily outside. He finds the bottle of aspirin in the car's glove compartment, and gets ready to go back to the room when he realizes something: he can’t remember which room was his

一对耳聋的夫妇在深夜住进了一间汽车旅馆。一进了定好的房间他们就躺下睡了。但等到半夜，妻子觉得头疼，于是就到卫生间找阿司匹林。可是她没有找到，这时她想起来在车上还有一瓶。她不敢深夜独自出去，于是就叫醒她的丈夫，让他出去从车上拿那瓶阿司匹林。晃晃悠悠的丈夫穿上睡袍，东倒西歪地走出门外。他在汽车仪表盘的贮物箱里找到了阿司匹林，当他准备回房间时，他想不起来到底哪间才是他的房间。

He thinks and thinks and then gets an idea. He opens the car again and honks the steering wheel horn several times. Within a minute，all the motel’s windows lighten up--except one window, and of course, he makes for the room with that window.

他想来想去，最后想出了一个主意。他打开车门然后按起了喇叭。不到一分钟，整个汽车旅馆里除了一间还黑着灯，所有的窗户都亮了。当然，因此他找到了自己的房间。