英语笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略，它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛，从而保持和谐的人际关系。下面是小编带来的关于幽默英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

关于幽默英语笑话篇一

in a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,

销售公司的老板对一位员工训话：

"the main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! that's the key! if you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. repeat it; cram it down people's throats. even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat. it's the only way to get results and sell our products!"

“重要的是要记得重复、重复、重复!‘不断重复’是重要关键!推销产品时，要用尽各种方法对客户不断反复地游说，对他们进行疲劳轰炸。情况需

要的话，即使让对方对你厌恶、反感也在所不惜。就是不要忘记‘重复再重复!’这是得到业绩、销售产品的不二法门!”

so, the employee said, "yes, sir!"

员工回答：“老板，了解了!”

then the boss said, "now, what was it you came to see me about?"

老板又说：“好，现在说说看你们来找我有什么事?”

and the employee replied, "well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!"

员工回答：“老板，我要加薪!加薪!加薪!”

关于幽默英语笑话篇二

The Cemetery Shortcut

为抄近路走墓地

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

正当两人害怕得浑身颤抖时，他们看到是个老头拿着铁锤和凿子，在一块墓石上凿着什么。

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口气说，“你把我们吓得半死啊，我们还以为遇上鬼了呢!那么晚了你在这里做什么?”

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

“那帮白痴!”老头抱怨道，“他们把我名字拼错啦!”

关于幽默英语笑话篇三

who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人

a teacher said to her class:”who was the first man?”

一个老师问她的学生：“谁是世界上第一个男人”

“george washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.

一个小男孩立刻大声说：“乔治.华盛顿。”

“how do you make out that george washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.

老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生：“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”

“because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

这个男孩子说：“因为，他是第一个挑起战争，第一个主张和平，并且是第一个深得民心的人。”

关于幽默英语笑话篇四

but at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”

这时，有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来，老师问他，“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”

“i don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but i know it wasn’t george washington, ma’am, because the history book says george washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”

男孩回答说：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿，因为历史书上说，乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了，所以在他之前，当然还有一个男的啦。”

关于幽默英语笑话篇五

母亲与教师

I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."

我教初中的唱诗班，偶尔会教到自己的孩子。一天，我儿子问我是否能借给他一支铅笔。作为一位老师，我一般不借东西给那些不做课堂准备的学生。但作为一位母亲，我应随时帮助我的孩子。于是，我问儿子他是在跟老师说话，还是在跟母亲说话。而他却说:“那要看谁有铅笔了。”