我们要言谈文雅,彬彬有礼,不可说些不成体统的话,以免被人笑话。小编精心收集了英语笑话小短文，供大家欣赏学习!

英语笑话小短文：Mary's school

Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old.

Last year her mother said to her, "You're six years old now, Mary, and you're going to begin going to a school here. You're going to like it very much, because it's a nice school." "Is it an English school?" Mary asked. "Yes, it is," her mother said.

Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon.

Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o'clock, and Mary ran out of her class. "We've got a new girl in our class today, Mummy," she said. "She's six years old too, and she's very nice, but she isn't English. She's German." "Does she speak English?" Mary's mother asked. "No, but she laughs in English," Mary said happily.

英语笑话小短文：Count Tomorrow Morning

明天早上数

It's a right. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John's younger brother. He asks John "What are you doing?"

John says, "I'm counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, "It's really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?"

这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。

汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么?”

约翰说：“我在数星星。”

汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”

英语笑话小短文：Ten Candies 十块糖

Mother asks her son, "Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candies do you have?"

"Ten." Jim says.

"Then," Mother asks.

"Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn't it right?"

妈妈问儿子：“吉姆， 如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖?”

“10块。”吉姆说。

“10块?”妈妈问。

“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗?”

英语笑话小短文：Lightbulbs For Dinner

Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"

"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for dinner!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I wanna eat it!'"

英语笑话小短文：Final Exams -- From Children

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavitycontains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"

A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.