冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。下面是小编精心收集的七年级英语小笑话，希望大家喜欢!

七年级英语小笑话篇一

Very stupid robbersTwo robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens.Jump!"

两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧!”

The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"The first one screamed back, "This is notime to be superstitious!"

第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信!”

七年级英语小笑话篇二

Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterdayto go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，”老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。”

七年级英语小笑话篇三

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decidedto get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decidedthat the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer andsays he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".The dealer asks, "Why'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to knowwho's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to asnail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.The snail gets his new car andspent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And wheneveranyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。逛了一圈之后，它决定买Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。

经销商问：“为什么是S呢?”

蜗牛回答说：“‘s’代表蜗牛。我想让每一个看见我呼啸而过的人知道是谁在开车。”

经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会，所以他同意收取些许费用，把车重新涂漆。

蜗牛开着它的新车，把自己的余生都用在了快乐地高速行使在告诉公路上。而不论何时任何人看见它飞驰而过的时候，都会说：“哦!看那S-car 。”

七年级英语小笑话篇四

A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes allthe small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in eachother's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and noarguments."

一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”

"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisionsdoes your wife make?"

“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”

"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in,what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。”

His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

他的朋友很惊奇的问道：“哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情?”

"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

“嗯，”他回答：“我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。”