前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。小编整理了经典短篇英文笑话，欢迎阅读!

经典短篇英文笑话篇一

perfect match

a wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. the woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "dad," says the son, "there's something i've got to know. how did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

"son," the father replies, "i painted the vase."

绝 配

一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩而深感骄傲，以至于她竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色，但是谁也没有能令那位怪癖的妇女满意。

最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那妇女对他的成果非常满意，油漆匠于是一举成名。

多年以后，他退休了，生意也交给儿子。“爸，”儿子说，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么绝的?”

“儿子，”父亲回答说，“我漆了花瓶。”

经典短篇英文笑话篇二

good news and bad news

"there's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.

"i could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "what's it?"

"your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."

"and the bad news?"

"after the divorce, she's marrying your father."

好消息和坏消息

“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。

“我总能利用一些好消息吧，”当事人吧了口气说，“是什么好消息?”

“你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。”

“那么坏消息呢?”

“离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”

经典短篇英文笑话篇三

a mistake

an amercian, a scot and a canadian were killed in a car accident. they arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered st. peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "give me $500 each," he said, "and i'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"done!" said the american. instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"where are the others?" asked a medic.

"last i knew," said the american, "the scot was huggling price, and the canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞错了

一位美国人，一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元，”他说，“我将把你们送回人间，就象什么都没有发生过一样。”

“成交!”美国人说。立刻，他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。

“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道。

“我离开之前，”那名美国人说，“我看见英格兰人正在砍价，而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”