笑话是一种增强快乐的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!

外国最新幽默笑话：疼痛之极

A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院，医生马上让护士去拿止痛药，“不必麻烦您了，医生。”那人说道，“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。”

"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

“比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。

"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM，the thing snapped shut on my balls."

“我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧，一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便，于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上，不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了，那东西夹住了我的皋丸。”

The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

医生听后颤抖了一下，说道“太可怕了，那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”

"When I reached the end of the chain."

“当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。”

外国最新幽默笑话：与上帝为伍

A farmer purchases an old，run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds，the farmhouse is falling apart，and the fences are collapsing all around.

一个农民买了一块破旧荒废的农场，他准备把这块农场变成兴旺的园林。然而目前这块地是杂草丛生，房屋破旧不堪，四周的篱笆也是东倒西歪。

During his first day of work，the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work，saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

在他第一天工作的时候，城里的一个传教士给他送去了祝福:“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想吧!”

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold，it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition，there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens，and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

几个月以后，那个传教士又一次来到农场，快看那，这里与上次相比简直是天壤之别。房屋重新修好了，条件也比以前好多了，成群的牛羊在欢快地吃着青草，地里的庄稼也整整齐齐的排列着。

"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

“太神奇了”，传教士惊呼道:“看那，上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”

"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

“没错，教士，”那个农民说道:“可你也要记住当初这个农场只由上帝一人支配的时候是个什么样子!”

外国最新幽默笑话：教育阶段

The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

一天工程系的主任走进一个班，说道:“早上好。”

The whole class chorused" Good Morning”

全班齐声回复:“早上好。”

"Hi，you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

“你们是大一的吧?”主任问道。

One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

一个胆子比较大的同学问主任是怎么知道的。

"Well，”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class，if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores，they quietly fold their papers away，and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

“嗯，”主任说，“如果是大一的新生，当我向他们问早上好的时候，他们也一定会说‘早上好’的。如果他们是大二的学生，他们会轻轻地合上课本，然后集体望着我。大三的学生则会从书本上抬起头看我一眼，然后马上又继续读书了。大四的学生则会对我视而不见，继续看书。至于研究生班的学生，我向他们问早上好，他们就会把这句话写在笔记上。”

外国最新幽默笑话：荒诞哲学

"God is Dead.” –Nietzsche

尼采说:“上帝死了。”

"Nietzsche is dead. " –God

上帝说:“尼采死了。”

"Therefore, Nietzsche is God. "-Plato

柏拉图说:“这样看来，尼采就是上帝。”