前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。本文是关于爆笑英文小笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

关于爆笑英文小笑话：Twenty Four Little Hours

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

The patient, resigned to his fate, says, "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

"The lab called with your test results," the doctor began. "Unfortuanately, you've got a rare condition and they said you have 24 hours to live."

"24 Hours!?" exclaimed the patient. "Thats terrible! What could be worse than that? What's the very bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

关于爆笑英文小笑话：I Dream of Jeannie

Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To theamazement of the castaways, a genie came forth!

This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"

Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:

"Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

关于爆笑英文小笑话：An economical budget 节俭预算

I was working at a booth at the Los Angeles Home and Garden Show.

Next to me was a woman demonstrating a shower saver. As she was telling a passer-by the qualities of the device, she mentioned that it saved 25000 gallons of water a year. The man stood as if deep in thought. Finally, the woman asked if he had any questions.

"No," he replied. "I am just trying to figure out where I'll store all the water."

我在洛杉矶一家卖家庭和花园用具的摊棚工作。

我隔壁摊位的女士说卖沐浴节水器的，当她向一位过路人推销淋浴电器时，她提到了这个节水器每年可省下2.5万加仑的水。那位过路人站在那里好像深思什么。最后，摊主问他有什么问题没有。

“没有”，他说：“我只是在想我把这些节省下来的水储存到哪儿去呢?”

关于爆笑英文小笑话：No manners? 没礼貌?

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?

杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。

第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：我叔叔几月走的?

关于爆笑英文小笑话：I Owe You for a Float

Mr Smith worked in a post office and three years ago, when he was sixty, he retired. Now he and his wife stay at home and his children work in another city. The old woman does all housework and he has nothing to do at home. He likes neither reading nor watching games. At first he didn't know how to spend the spare time. Mr Hunt who was two years older than him asked him to go fishing with him.

"It's a good sport," said Mr Hunt, "I'm sure you will soon be interested in it."

"But I cann't fish at all, you know."

"That's easy. Go fishing with me tomorrow morning and I'll teach you."

Mr Smith decided to try his luck. The following day the two old friends came to a river and began to fish. Suddenly Mr Smith said, "How much do those little red things cost?"

"You mean the floats? Oh, they are cheap. What made you ask me such a question?"

"I owe you one. Mine has just sunk ."

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