冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。下面是小编带来的关于用英语讲一个笑话，欢迎阅读!

关于用英语讲一个笑话篇一

Psychological Test 心理学测试

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

一位刚刚做完一场有关心理健康讲座的心理学指导老师，正在进行一个口头测试。

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

测试主题定为躁狂抑郁症，她问道：“你将怎样诊断这样的一个病人，他先是来回走着并大声叫喊了一分钟，然后坐在一张椅子上失控般地哭泣。”

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

一个坐在后面的年轻人举手答道：“他是一个篮球教练?”

关于用英语讲一个笑话篇二

Heard on a public bus 公交车上的声明

Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.奥兰多公车上的声明。

"When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."“当您下车的时候，请务必低头并小心脚下。”

"If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you." “如果您踩空了并撞到您的头了的时候，请您降低音量并注意您的用语。谢谢。”

关于用英语讲一个笑话篇三

Caught stealing 当场擒获小偷

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

关于用英语讲一个笑话篇四

Sharing everything 分享所有

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

一个年轻人在麦当劳里看见一对年迈的夫妇在吃午餐。他发现那对夫妇只点了单人餐，还要了一个空杯子。年轻人看见丈夫认真地把汉堡分成两半，把薯条一根一根数出来同样放成两堆，一份给自己，一份放在妻子面前。之后丈夫把饮料一半倒到空杯子里，同样放到妻子面前。这时丈夫开始吃了，而妻子却把手摊在膝盖上，在一旁看着。

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

年轻人决定上前请那对夫妇允许他为他们再买一份单人餐，这样他们就不用分一份了。

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

丈夫说道：“哦，不用了。我们已经结婚50年了，所有的东西我们都会一起分享，对半儿分。”

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."

然后年轻人问妻子她为什么不吃，她说：“这回他先用假牙。”

关于用英语讲一个笑话篇五

Hard of hearing 身患重听

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

有三个退休的老人，都患有重听。三月里风和日丽的一天，他们在一起散步。

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

其中一个人对另一个人说：“这天儿风有点儿大，是吧?”

"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

“不是，”第二个人回答道，“今天是星期四。”

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."

第三个人插话进来说：“我也是，去买瓶可乐吧。”