冷笑话作为言语幽默的一种,其研究虽不像幽默研究有着悠久历史,但却吸引了来自修辞学和语言学等领域学者们的注意。下面是小编带来的关于英语小笑话简单爆笑，欢迎阅读!

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我是司机

A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus stillran at a great speed.

"Stop, stop, " a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, "youcan't catch it ! "

"I must," the young fellow said, out of breath, "because I'm only driver of the bus."

out of breath 上气不接下气

我是司机

在一辆满载乘客的公共汽车后面，一位小个子青年在奔跑着。气车仍在高速前进。

“停下吧，”一位乘客把头伸出窗子，对小个子喊道，“你追不上的!”

“我必须追上，”小个子气喘吁吁地说，“我是司机!”

【Exercises】

根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F)：

① The young man who was running behind the bus was tall.

② The bus was half full of passengers.

③ The bus was running very fast.

④ The passenger bad pity on the young man.

⑤ The young man was the driver.

【参考答案】①F②F③T④T⑤T

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学小提琴的妙用

"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always askingfor things and her father was not very pleased.

"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, thendancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.

"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.

"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks.At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have morelessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."

"0K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair."

He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was veryexpensive, but her father kept his promise.

The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.

She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.

"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin."

She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.

Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.

When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."

Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot ofmoney, but she still plays very badly. he said.

"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been ableto buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the wholebuilding!"

“爸爸，我能学拉小提琴吗?”小莎拉问她的父亲。她总是要东西，因此她爸爸很不高兴。

“你花了我很多钱，莎拉，”他说，“开始你想学骑马，然后想学跳舞，然后是游泳。现在又想学拉小提琴。”

“我会每天都拉的，爸爸，”莎拉说，“我会认真练的。”

“好吧，”她爸爸说。“下面是我要做的：我会为你付六个星期的小提琴课的钱，六个星期后你必须拉首曲子给我听。如果你拉得很好，你可以继续上小提琴课，要是你拉得很差，你就不要再学了。”

“行。爸爸，”莎拉说，“这很公平。”

他很快就找到了一个好的小提琴老师，莎拉就开始学拉提琴了。尽管学费很高，但她爸爸遵守了诺言。

六个星期很快就过去了。该莎拉拉提琴给爸爸听了。

她走进起居室说：“我准备好拉提琴给你听了。”

“好哇，莎拉，”她爸爸说。“开始吧。”

她开始拉了。她拉得很差，发出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友，朋友用手捂着耳朵。

莎拉拉完一曲，她父亲说：“拉得好，莎拉。你可以继续学琴了。”

莎拉高兴地跑出门去。她父亲的朋友对他说：“你已经花了不少钱了，但她还是拉得很差。”

“噢，的确如此，”她爸爸说，“但自从她开始学小提琴，我就可以很便宜地买下这幢楼的五个公寓。再过六周，我就可以拥有整幢楼啦!”

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谁的儿子最伟大

The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is amonsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Monsignor'."

The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say,'Hello, Your Excellency'."

"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Your Eminence'.

" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”

第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。”

“我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝!’”