关于最搞笑的英语小笑话
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。小编精心收集了关于最搞笑的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!
关于最搞笑的英语小笑话:谁的儿子最伟大
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is amonsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Monsignor'."
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say,'Hello, Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Your Eminence'.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"
四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士,”第一位母亲自豪地说道,“他进入房间,人们都说,‘您好,阁下’。”
第二为母亲说:“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间,人们都称,‘您好,大人’。”
“我的儿子是位红衣主教,”第三位母亲接着说,“他走进房间,人们都说,‘您好,尊敬的主教大人’。”
第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十,体重三百磅,”她说,“他要是走入房间,人们都说‘哦,我的上帝!’”
关于最搞笑的英语小笑话:我叔叔是几月走的
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait anylonger after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then somewarmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, theceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that itmade his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his unclegone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"
杰克给人鞠躬,飞快地一点头,就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说,“下次鞠躬的时候,你就在心里数:正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止,然后再直起身来。这样,礼节就周全了。”
第二天,杰克见到他的叔叔,他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久,叔叔吃了一惊,赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看,其叔早已不知去向,他便问过路人:“我叔叔是几月走的?”
关于最搞笑的英语小笑话:学小提琴的妙用
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always askingfor things and her father was not very pleased.
"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, thendancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.
"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.
"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks.At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have morelessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."
"0K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair."
He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was veryexpensive, but her father kept his promise.
The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.
She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.
"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin."
She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.
Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.
When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."
Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot ofmoney, but she still plays very badly. he said.
"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been ableto buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the wholebuilding!"
“爸爸,我能学拉小提琴吗?”小莎拉问她的父亲。她总是要东西,因此她爸爸很不高兴。
“你花了我很多钱,莎拉,”他说,“开始你想学骑马,然后想学跳舞,然后是游泳。现在又想学拉小提琴。”
“我会每天都拉的,爸爸,”莎拉说,“我会认真练的。”
“好吧,”她爸爸说。“下面是我要做的:我会为你付六个星期的小提琴课的钱,六个星期后你必须拉首曲子给我听。如果你拉得很好,你可以继续上小提琴课,要是你拉得很差,你就不要再学了。”
“行。爸爸,”莎拉说,“这很公平。”
他很快就找到了一个好的小提琴老师,莎拉就开始学拉提琴了。尽管学费很高,但她爸爸遵守了诺言。
六个星期很快就过去了。该莎拉拉提琴给爸爸听了。
她走进起居室说:“我准备好拉提琴给你听了。”
“好哇,莎拉,”她爸爸说。“开始吧。”
她开始拉了。她拉得很差,发出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友,朋友用手捂着耳朵。
莎拉拉完一曲,她父亲说:“拉得好,莎拉。你可以继续学琴了。”
莎拉高兴地跑出门去。她父亲的朋友对他说:“你已经花了不少钱了,但她还是拉得很差。”
“噢,的确如此,”她爸爸说,“但自从她开始学小提琴,我就可以很便宜地买下这幢楼的五个公寓。再过六周,我就可以拥有整幢楼啦!”
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