幽默故事，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面小编为大家带来妙趣幽默的英语故事两则，欢迎大家阅读!

妙趣幽默英语故事：把颜色留下

Years ago, people rented phones from the local telephone company

几年前，人们从当地的电话公司租用电话时

and had the option of paying a one-time fee to have a color model.

只要选择额外一次性地付一点钱就能拿到一个彩色的电话机。

One customer, who had had his phone for some time,

有一名顾客在电话用了一些日子后忘记了这个规则。

forgot how this worked.

当我去中断他的电话服务时，

When I was disconnecting his service,

他不让我把电话机带走。

he objected to my leaving with his phone.

“那是我的电话机”，他生气地说

"That's mine," he said angrily. "I paid for it."

“我付了钱的。”

"No, sir, you paid for the color, not the phone," I explained.

不是，先生，你付的是颜色的钱，不是手机。我给他解释。

"Okay, take the phone," he said calmly, "but leave the color."

“那好，把电话拿走吧，”他平静地说，“但颜色得留。

妙趣幽默英语故事：美女侦探

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.

一位警官正在询问三位想成为侦探的金发女郎。

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect,

为了测试她们辨别嫌疑犯的技巧，

he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

他让其中一位看一张照片，五秒钟后把照片藏了起来。

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

“这就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎么样能把他再认出来?”

The first blonde answers,这位美女回答，

"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

“这太容易了，他只有一只眼睛，我一下就能认出他来!”

The policeman says,

警官说，

"Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

“喔……嗯……那是因为这只是他的侧面。”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response,

警官被这个荒谬的答案搞的有点不知所措，

he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her,

他把照片在第二位小姐面前一晃，五秒钟后问道，

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

“这就是你的嫌疑犯，你怎样才能把他认出来?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says,

女郎咯咯地傻笑，撩了撩自己的头发说，

"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he has only one ear!"

“哈!他太容易被认出来了，因为他只有一只耳朵!”

The policeman angrily responds,

警官恼怒地叫起来，

"What's the matter with you two?

你们两个是怎么搞的?

Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile!

他当然只有一只眼睛一只耳朵，因为这是他的侧面像!

Is that the best answer you can come up with?"这就是你们最好的答案吗?”

Extremely frustrated at this point,he shows the picture to the third blonde

他很泄气地给第三位女郎看了照片，

and in a very testy voice asks,

很不耐烦地问她

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"，

“这是你的嫌疑犯，你怎么样再认出他来?”

He quickly adds "... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

他迅速又补充了一句，“在给我愚蠢的答案之前你先好好想想。”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,

这位美女很专心地看了一会儿，

"Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."

说，“他戴的是隐形眼镜。”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

警官非常吃惊，一句话也说不出来了因为连他自己都不知道那个人是不是戴隐形眼镜。

"Well, that's an interesting answer...“

嗯，这个答案真有意思。

wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that.

"你稍等，我去查一下他的档案，马上回来。”

He leaves the room and goes to his office,

他离开屋子回到办公室，

checks the suspect's file in his computer,

查了下电脑中的档案

and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.，

喜气洋洋地回来了。

"Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE!

“哇!我简直不能相信。是真的!

The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses.

他确实是戴隐形眼镜的。你做得太棒了!你怎么会有这么敏锐的观察力呢?”

Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

“很简单啊，”女郎回答说，

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

“他不可能带普通眼镜的嘛，因为他只有一只眼睛和一只耳朵。”