幽默故事，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面小编为大家带来妙趣幽默的英语故事三则，欢迎大家阅读!

妙趣幽默英语故事：会弹钢琴的狗

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。

The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”

The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"

那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”

So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

服务生回答说，“呃， 如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”

Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的… …服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来 ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事?”

The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

那人回答 ，“噢，那是它妈妈。 她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”

妙趣幽默英语故事：笨小孩

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.

一个小男孩走进一家理发店， 理发师低声对他的顾客说，“我再也没见过比这个小子更笨的小孩了， 你看着，我证明给你看。”

" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上，另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币，把小孩叫跟前问，“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。

"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,

“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的?”

when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

理发师说，“那小子就不会学精点!” 过了一会，顾客离开了理发店，他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

“嘿，小家伙! 我可以问你个问题吗?

Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

你为什么不拿那一美元，而拿那两个25 美分呢?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!

小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说，“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票，以后那剪头的再也不会给我钱了!”

妙趣幽默英语故事：五百遍

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,

在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，

a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。

She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.

女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。

A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.

法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗?

"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”