双语职场:如何在一个陌生地方建立人际圈
际交往是人类社会中不可缺少的组成部分,人的许多需要都是在人际交往中得到满足的。如果人际关系不顺利,就意味着心理需要被剥夺,或满足需要的愿望受挫折,因而会产生孤立无援或被社会抛弃的感觉;反之则会因有良好的人际关系而得到心理上的满足。您所提出的问题,正是因人际关系没处理好而造成的心理问题。要想成功地建立良好的人际关系,就要在社会生活中了解、遵循和掌握以下所述的人际交往的方法
1. Take Pictures
One of the great things about taking pictures at an event or party is that it gives you an excuse to get in touch with the person later. Everybody loves seeing pictures of themselves, and it's very easy after taking a picture to say “Are you on Facebook?” or “If you'd like I can email it to you.”
This can be the seed that leads to new connections. The next time you hear about a fun event email your new contacts to let them know about it.
1。拍照片
在活动或聚会时拍照片,最容易让你日后有理由与他人接触。人们都喜欢看到自己的照片,拍过照片后,你还可以很自然地问“你上Facebook吗?”,或问“我用电子邮件把照片发给你好吗?”
这样能帮你建立新的联系机会。下次再听说有什么有趣的活动,你就可以发邮件给新认识的人通知他们。
即使你天性腼腆,这三个小技巧也能帮助你在任何陌生的城市迅速建立新的社交圈。
2. Eat Alone In Public
If you don't know anyone in a new city, it can be tempting to order take-out and retreat back to your lonely apartment or hotel room. Instead, try eating by yourself in public as often as possible.
You might feel self-conscious eating by yourself but it has an important benefit: you are much easier to approach when you are alone. People may be afraid of interrupting you or being rude if you are in a conversation with someone else.
Bring a book or newspaper to read (this will make you feel less self conscious)。 Plus, having an interesting book with you will give others an excuse to start a conversation if they've read it.
2。独自在公共场所吃饭
如果在一座新城市你没有任何熟人,就可能情愿叫外卖,呆在自己的公寓或宾馆房间里。不要这样,要努力尽可能地独自到公共场所吃饭。
独自吃饭可能会使你感到不自在,但是那样做很有好处:单独的一个人比较容易接触。如果你正和别人谈话,人们可能会担心打断你们,或显得太鲁莽。
带本书或报纸去看(这可以减轻你不自在的感觉)。另外,带一本有趣的书,也会给看过的人提供谈话的理由。
3. Join A Class, Sports Team, Or Club
Yoga, salsa dancing, volleyball, jogging, Toastmasters (a public speaking club), a class for work, martial arts, etc. Take up a new hobby or continue an old one!
These are all great places to meet new people, primarily because you will be forced to see the same people over and over again in the class. You will automatically make friends with them if you have a common interest and are forced to see each other again.
If you're having troubling thinking of a good one to join, try browsing the many clubs on MeetUp.com or the events on CraigsList.com
Bonus Tips:
* In the beginning, never turn down an invitation from someone, even if it's something you wouldn't normally do.
* Email your new friends with fun things to do instead of always asking what their plans are. If they have a better plan you can always still drop yours and join them. This will help establish you as someone who is contributing value instead of just taking it (people want this in a friend)。
* Don't let little things in life piss you off or be a negative person. Others won't want to be around you!
3。加入学习班,运动队或俱乐部
瑜伽,萨尔萨舞,排球,慢跑,Toastmasters(公开演讲俱乐部),工作学习班,武术,等等。接受一项新的业余爱好,或继续原有的业余爱好。
这些地方都是认识人的好地方,主要因为你被迫一次次地在班里看到同一群人。如果你们有共同的爱好,又被迫重复相见,就会很自然地交上朋友。
额外提示:
* 开始时,绝不要拒绝别人的邀请,即使那是你一般不喜欢做的事情。
* 给新朋友发邮件要说些有趣的事,不要总是问他们的打算如何。如果他们有个不错的计划,你可以谈谈你的想法,加入进去。这样有助于让别人看到你的价值,而不会仅仅是猜测(人们希望朋友是这样的人。)
* 别为生活中的小事烦恼,或做悲观的人。别人不会愿意和这种人交往。
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