近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。小编精心收集了经典小学英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

经典小学英语笑话短文：两个错误

For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted，and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note，which said，"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.

很长时间以来，史密斯先生一直想在一家现代化的大医院找到一份较好的工作，最后他如愿以偿了。他得到了他所想要的一个重要职位，他和他妻子也搬进了他们现在的房子。第二天，他让花店送来了一些美丽的鲜花，上面有一张条子，写道:“最深切的吊慰。”很显然，史密斯先生对接到这样一张条子感到非常气愤，他立刻打电话给送花店的老板问那张条子是什么意思。

When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.

商店的老板听到所发生的事情之后，对于他们所造成的错误对史密斯先生表示歉意。

"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."

“可真正让我更为担心的是”，老板补充道，“应该给你送去的鲜花却被送给了一个刚去世的人，鲜花上的条子写着:祝您高升。”

经典小学英语笑话短文：爱尔兰人的运气

Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.

一对爱尔兰情侣坐在公园里的长椅上。他们手牵着手，但是那个女的一直紧张地摆弄她的双手。

Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”

玛丽:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告诉你。”

Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”

帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你尽管可以跟我说。”

Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”

玛丽:“这件事简直太难讲出口了。”

Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”

帕克瑞克:“请你相信我，到底是什么事?”

Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”

玛丽:“那是好几年前的事了。我爸爸失业了，当时没有钱。”

Patrick: “So, what is it?”

帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”

Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”

玛丽:“哦，当时我们简直是绝望之极。所以有时候我不得不去做妓女!”

Patrick: “WHAT!”

帕特瑞克:“你说什么?”

Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”

玛丽:“我们太需要钱了。”

Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”

帕特瑞克:“不要找借口开脱了。出卖你的灵魂，你怎么能这么做呢? 你! 玛丽，这我实在是接受不了。”

Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”

玛丽:“不，帕特请不要这样，我觉得你能理解我。我相信你依然爱我，哪怕我曾经出卖过自己的身体。”

Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”

帕特瑞克:“哦，你等会儿，那没关系。刚才我还以为你是说你是当了新教徒呢。”

经典小学英语笑话短文：以色列的出租车

An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.

一个美国游客在以色列打了一辆出租车。使这个美国游客震惊的是，当出租车开到红灯底下的时候，司机根本没有减速就直着冲了过去。虽然他很吃惊，但他什么也没说。他觉得自己是个游客不应该找麻烦。

The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and，to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name，are you stopping at a green light?!”

一切都很顺利，直到下一个十字路口。这回是绿灯，可让美国人惊愕的是那个司机踩刹车停了下来。他再也憋不住了，就问司机:“我问你，刚才你闯红灯我什么都没说，可这回是绿灯为什么你却停了下来?”

The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”

那个以色列司机看着那美国人，惊讶的喊道:“你疯了吗?另一个司机现在正要闯红灯，难道你想找死吗?”