笑话可以减轻人的心理压力,促进人的身体健康。小编精心收集了搞笑短篇英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

搞笑短篇英文笑话：A school report

学校成绩单

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,

"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And hepointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

搞笑短篇英文笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗? 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

搞笑短篇英文笑话：Is ink so expensive

墨水很贵吗

Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet.

儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗? 父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想? 儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。

搞笑短篇英文笑话：All Right

Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."

"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."

没关系

我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。“啊噢，”意识到犯了错误，我说。“我刚才拐弯是违章的。”

“我想那没关系的，”女儿回答说：“我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。”