幽默不分国界、不分民族。然而不同国家与民族之间达到幽默共享却绝非易事。小编整理了幽默的英语演讲小短文，欢迎阅读!

幽默的英语演讲小短文篇一

没把头发全剪掉啊

miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。

"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"

"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."

"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"

"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."

"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"

"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."

"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"

幽默的英语演讲小短文篇二

送给爸爸的生日礼物

While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.

旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。

"That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."

“没关系”，他说，“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺”。

Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."

妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。

幽默的英语演讲小短文篇三

after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。

in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”

幽默的英语演讲小短文篇四

医生向母亲索吻

during the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.

医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。

when he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!

医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他!”