下面是小编整理的英语爆笑简单短文，希望大家会喜欢!

英语爆笑简单短文：上英语课

上英语课，老师问：“知识是什么?”全班人回答：“knowledge !”就我一个特么特大声的说：“力量!!!”

英语爆笑简单短文：鸭子的英语

“苹果用英语怎么说?”我问。“Apple”侄女高兴地回答。“香蕉用英语怎么说”我接着问。“Banana‘她快速地答到。“嗯，不错啊，那小鸭子用英语怎么说啊?”小侄女犹豫了一下，接着答“嘎，嘎……”

英语爆笑简单短文：一笑而过英文版

你伤害了Word，还Excel而过，你Access的贪婪，我Outlook懦弱。One泪Note过，回忆是多Binder，只怪自己Mail你PowerPoint。

英语爆笑简单短文：Can you speak English

去年春节回老家时，看到一个老外在向一个农民伯伯问路。只见那个老外一边说着生硬的中文，一边用手笔划，但那个农民伯伯却还是不明白。最后，那个农民伯伯说了一句让我至今难忘的话：“Can you speak English?”

英语爆笑简单短文：how much

刚刚去营业厅冲话费，听到服务小姐说，how much?我愣了好久，没反应过来，心想英语都普及到这地步了?遂回答，50。他也愣了，又重复了一次，我这才听明白她刚才说的是，号码是?

英语爆笑简单短文：外国同事

我们外国同事突然问我：你们中国人最爱用的外语口头禅是不是“what‘s up‘?感觉你们见面时常说“what‘s up‘，有时候自己对着电脑都会自言自语说，是受美国文化影响么?我想了半天是不是有这么回事，然后突然恍然大悟，对她说：我操!

英语爆笑简单短文：香蕉用英语怎么说?

“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说?”“banana!”“苹果呢?”“iPhone!”“那大苹果呢?”“iPad!”

英语爆笑简单短文：兔子的论文

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。

Fox: "What are you working on?"

狐狸：“你在做什么呢?”

Rabbit: "My thesis."

兔子：“写我的论文。”

Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

狐狸：“唔，是关于什么的?”

Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

兔子：“噢，我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

狐狸：“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”

Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

兔子：“兔子当然吃，我能证明的。跟我来。”

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

很快，一只狼走了过来，停下看着兔子奋力工作。

Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

狼：“你在写什么呢?”

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

兔子：“我在写论文，关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

狼：“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

兔子：“能发表，你想知道为什么吗?”

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

兔子和狼一起进了洞穴，而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。

Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

兔子洞穴里：一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头，另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子，它边打着饱嗝，边剔着牙齿。

It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

论文的题目选什么无关紧要。

It doesn't matter what you use for data.

你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。

What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

真正重要的是：你的论文导师是谁!