幽默是一种语言艺术。预设是幽默笑话中经常采用的手段。下面是小编带来的简短英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短英语小笑话篇一

The Funeral 葬礼

A funeral service is being held for a woman who hasjust passed away .

有一场刚过世的女子的葬礼正在举行。

At the end of the pall bearers are carrying the casket out

到了仪式的尾声，正当抬棺材的人要将棺材抬出之际。

when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.

他们一不小心撞到了一面墙壁，摇动了棺材。

They hear faint moan.

他们听到了一个微弱无力的呻吟声。

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

他们将棺材 打开，发现到这个女子实际上还活着。

She lives for ten more years,and then dies.

她又活了十多年，然后就死了.

A ceremony is again held at the same place,

在同样的地点再次举行葬礼，

and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

而在葬礼的尾声， 抬棺材的人又再次要将棺材抬出去。

As they are walking,

正当他们在走路的时候，

the husband cries out,"Watch out for that damn wall!"

老公大声叫说：“小心 注意那面该死的墙壁。”

简短英语小笑话篇二

狗也知道这个谚语吗?

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

中文翻译：

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”

简短英语小笑话篇三

一个言出必行的人 A Man of Actions

A Man of Actions

A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er•••er•••Miss Rose, er•••he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening!”

一个言出必行的人

一群学生聚在牛津的校园里，一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那个家伙不收回他今早 对我说的话，我今晚就离开牛津。”

下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说：“我们要支持他、学习他。”

突然，一个女孩问道：“那家伙对你说什么了，霍波?”

他弯下腰小声说：“哦，呃…呃…，罗斯小姐，呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”

简短英语小笑话篇四

Which Month Did He Go Away?(他是哪个月离开的?)

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?

中文翻译：

杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：一月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。

第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：我叔叔几月走的?

简短英语小笑话篇五

脑移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

脑移植

一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。

“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。

病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。

医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”