近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。小编分享短篇英语小笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!

短篇英语小笑话带翻译：A drunk

醉汉

A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.

有一位警官把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子拦到路边。

He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说：“先生，我要你对着这个酒精测试管吹一口气。”

The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

这名男子说：“对不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是个气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘病。”

"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."

“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。”

"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."

“我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。”

"Well ,then we need a urine sample."

“嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。”

"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

“对不起呀 ，警官，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很低。”

"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

“好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。”

"I can't do that,officer."

“警官，我办不到呀。”

"Why not? "

“为什么办不到?”

"Because I am too drunk to do that."

“因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。”

短篇英语小笑话带翻译：Apprehending Criminals

逮捕罪犯

The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are thebest at apprehending criminals.

洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局，都想要证明他们最会逮捕罪犯。

The President decides to give them a test.

于是总统决定要考考他们。

He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

他把一只兔子放进森林，而他们每一个人都必须去抓它。

The CIA goes in.

中央情报局的人进去了。

They place animal informants throughout the forest.

他们在整个森林里放置了动物通报器。

They question all plant and mineral witnesses.

他们质问所有的 植物和矿物证人。

After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

就在三个月的密集调查之后，他们得到的结论就是兔子不存在。

The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,

联邦调查局韵人进去了。就在两个星期都没有线索之后，

killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.

他们放火把森林烧了，杀光了里面的一切，包括这只，兔子在内 ，而且他们并没有表现出歉意。

The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.

洛杉矾警察局的人进去了。两个小时之后，他们带着一只惨遭严重殴打的熊出来。

The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"

这只熊大声地喊着说：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”

短篇英语小笑话带翻译：Beef Sandwich

牛肉三明治

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.

有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。

"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.

他点餐时说：“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。”

"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it,like our midnight Special."

"菜单上没有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我们的午夜特餐。”

"What's a Midnight Special?"

“午夜特餐是什么?”

"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle andmayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."

“有三层，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、 洋葱、腌泡菜，还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。…

"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it tome on a plate?"

"你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉，装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”

"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,

“哦，当然可以。啦!”接着他就转向制作三明治的人，

he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold thetongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin breadwhite,untoasted!"

大声喊出：“一个午夜特餐。把它做一层就好，里面不要加牛着、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”