英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面小编给大家推荐几篇英语长篇笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢。

长篇英语笑话带翻译一：

Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

then green again，but her car did not start.

“What am I going to do now?” She said.

But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。

因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”

但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”

上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。

“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。

这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”

长篇英语笑话带翻译二：

Who is Stupid

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

谁愚蠢

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

长篇英语笑话带翻译三：

Good intentions

One day a boy came to his teacher and said:"Teacher，my dad wants to know if you like roast pig.”

"I certainly do，”said the teacher, "And you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.”

Days passed，and nothing more was said about the roast pig.

Finally the teacher said to the boy，“I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.”

"Yes，"said the boy，“He did intend to，but the pig got well.”

良好的心愿

一天有个男孩去对他老师说:“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”

“当然口，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。”

好几天过去了，男孩再没提起烤猪肉的事儿。

最后老师对男孩说:“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”

“是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪病好了。”