英语美文文摘
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交友应远离三种人
I often read blog posts, here at Forbes and on other platforms, that spark further thought. I just read one at Inc.com, by Jeff Haden, about the types of people you should remove from your inner circle if you're a business owner。
我经常在福布斯和其他网站上读一些博客帖子,有些帖子发人深省。我最近在Inc.com网站上读了一篇杰夫。哈登写的帖子,帖子讲的是企业主应远离的几类人。
It got me reflecting on the folks I've removed from my life over the years (not removed in the Mafioso sense – I mean 'stopped interacting with‘), or those I've encouraged others to remove. It might sound callous or draconian, but I'm convinced that life is too short to have people around you on a daily basis who make it more difficult to succeed or to be happy.Now of course, we all have days when even the folks we're fondest of – friends, colleagues, family – make us want to tear our hair out. That's not what I 'm talking about (that's life on the planet)。 I'm talking about those folks who consistently make your life harder or less pleasant.So, here's my observation of the three types of people to invite out of your life:
这让我不禁想到了几年间那些被我从我的生活中消除的人(我的意思是“停止交往”,而不是黑手党意义上的消除),和那些我劝别人疏远的人。这听起来可能有些冷漠无情,但是我坚信人生苦短,我们不应该让那些阻碍我们成功和快乐的人整日出现在身边。有时候即使是我们最喜欢的朋友、同事和家人也会是我们发狂,但那不是我要说的情况(这个星球的生活就是这样)。我要说的是那些总是你的生活充满困难和不快的人。下面的三类人,就是我通过观察认为你应当远离的人。
Energy vampires. Some people just wear you out; you feel more tired and stressed, less vital after interacting with them. These folks seem to believe that the main job of their friends and colleagues is to help them feel better. I once had a friend who required hours and hours of “processing” – his pain, difficulty, emotional upheaval, the unfairness of his past life: everything needed to be gone over ad infinitim. Sadly, no matter how deeply you listen, no matter how much counsel you offer, no matter how much you put your own needs on the back burner to support these folks, it will not be enough. Think about the friends and colleagues who consistently take more from you than they give back, and ask yourself why you're still offering yourself to be sucked dry。
精力吸血鬼。一些人总让你精疲力尽,与他们交往后,你感到很累很压抑,甚至萎靡不振。这些人似乎认为朋友和同事的主要工作就是使自己过得好。我曾经有一个朋友,他分秒不停地“诉苦”——关于他过去的生活所经历的痛苦、遇到的困难、遭遇的情感挫折和不公平待遇。每件事他都要无休止地讲下去。可悲的是,无论你多么用心聆听,无论你提出多少建议,无论你为了帮助他们放下自己手头多少事,在他们看来似乎都显得不够。想想你的那些朋友和同事,他们从你那里拿走的远超过归还的,然后问问自己,为何还要让他们吸取你的精力。
I Me Mine: My brother used to be married to someone who expected much more from others, on a daily basis, than she was willing to give. For instance, she had no problem asking someone to babysit for her child, or watch her house, or run an errand for her…but when it came time to reciprocate, somehow it just never seemed possible. When she came to visit, everything had to be oriented to accommodate her: the foods she required, the quietest room with the proper light, the cats farmed out to friends because of her allergies. No such accommodations were possible when others visited her. “I Me Mine” people are the center of their own universe, and if they're in your life, you are always going to have to work around their needs and preferences. Collaboration, reciprocity and give and take are not part of their vocabulary. Do what you can to minimize your interactions with these folks (although they may let you know in no uncertain terms that you're being unreasonable or unfair not to be available to fulfill their every whim)。
我,我的。我弟弟曾和一位女士结了婚,这位女士总期望别人为她出更多的力,而她自己却很少付出。例如,她毫不客气地让别人帮她照看孩子,看管房屋,或者跑腿等等。但当别人有事请她帮忙时,几乎不可能。她去拜访别人时,衣食住行都要符合其要求:食物要合口;住房必须安静且光线适中;由于她对猫过敏,主人要托朋友看管猫。当别人回访她时,却根本得不到这样的待遇。“我,我的”这类人总是以自己的世界为中心。如果你和他们一起生活,你将不得不总是围绕他们的需要和喜好工作。在他们的字典里从来没有诸如“合作”“互助”“互相谦让”之类的字眼。你要尽量减少与这些人来往(尽管他们可能明确告诉你,如果不满足他们每次的心血来潮,你会显得多么不公,多么不近人情)。
Liars. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times – why are you still on the list of people whose calls I return? If someone is consistently unreliable, or tells you things that aren't true, or says one thing to you and another thing to someone else in order to protect themselves…cut them loose. Liars are the worst. Energy Vampires and I Me Mines are a pain and make your life more difficult – but Liars can create honest-to-goodness legal and moral problems。
说谎者。愚弄我一次,你真不害臊;愚弄我两次,我真丢脸;愚弄我三次——我为什么还和你交往(我都不会再回你电话了)?如果一个人一直以来都不可靠,总是告诉你一些不真实的事,并且为了保护他自己的利益,总是当面一套背地一套,你应当远离这样的人。说谎者最可恶。“精力吸血鬼”和“我,我的”这两类人只是让你痛苦或者活得更艰难些,但说谎者却能真正造成一些法律和道德问题。
The great thing to realize is that you actually have the power to do this. You don't need have to these people in your life. You can kindly but firmly minimize your interactions with them. And that frees you up to invite wonderful people into your life. 重要的是,你应该意识到实际上你有能力去做这件事。在生活中,你不需要这些人。你可以友好但要坚决地减少与他们的交往。这样一来,你就可以自由地邀请一些令你愉快的人进入你的生活了。
女人真正想要什么?
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur, would have a year to figure out the answer. If, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.
The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would have perplexed even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than death, however, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody; the princess, the prostitutes, priests, the wise men, and the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high as the witch was famous for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price; the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified, she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like a sewer and often made obscene noises. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and to have to endure such a burden.
Gawain upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question.
What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd been a witch, half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self. And the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would,he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament.
During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments.
What would you do?
What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you'vemade your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
What is the moral of the story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if a woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a . . . . . witch!!!
年轻的亚瑟王遭到邻国国王伏击,受到监禁。邻国国王原本要杀他,但被他青春的快乐所感动。他提出,只要亚瑟能回答一个难题,就还他自由。亚瑟将有一年的时间找出答案。如果一年后他还没有答案,就将被处死。
那个问题是:女人真正想要的是什么?这个问题有可能难倒最有智慧的男人,在年轻的亚瑟看来,这似乎是个不可能有答案的难题。不管怎么样,这总比死要好,于是,他接受了国王年底交出答案的提议。
他回到自己的王国,开始向所有人征求答案,从公主,娼妓,牧师,哲人到宫廷弄臣。总之,他找所有人谈话,但没人能给他满意的答案。人们说的最多的是让他去请教老巫婆,因为只有她知道答案。但是,代价会很高,老巫婆正是因为要价过高而出名。
一转眼年末最后一天到了,亚瑟还是没有找到答案,只好去找巫婆谈。她同意回答这个问题,但是,他必须接受她的要价:老巫婆想嫁给加文,圆桌骑士团最高尚的骑士,亚瑟最亲密的朋友!年轻的亚瑟王很难过,她是个丑得可怕的驼子,只有一颗牙齿,气味像阴沟的味道一样,还经常发出令人厌恶的声音。他从没见过这么让人恶心的生物。他不愿强迫朋友娶她,不愿让朋友承受如此的负担。
加文知道了这个提议后,找到亚瑟,对他说,与亚瑟的生命和保全圆桌骑士团相比,多大的牺牲都不为过。因此,公布了他们的结婚典礼,老巫婆也回答了亚瑟的问题。
女人真正想要的是能够主宰自己的命运。
所有人瞬间明白了,巫婆说出了一个伟大的真理,亚瑟有救了。果然不出所料,邻国国王赦免了亚瑟,并同意给他完全的自由。
加文和巫婆举办了什么样的婚礼啊!亚瑟的心撕裂了,既为获得自由感到轻松,也为朋友感到极度的痛苦。加文一如既往,举止得体,温文尔雅。老巫婆却露出了她最丑陋的仪态。她用手抓东西吃,又放屁,又打嗝,让所有人都感到不舒服。洞房之夜到了:加文咬牙准备度过一个可怕的夜晚,他进了卧室。等待他的是什么景象啊!他见过的最漂亮的女子躺在他的面前!加文惊呆了,问发生了什么事。
漂亮女子回答道,由于她是女巫时他对她很好,所以将有一半时间,她显现出可怕丑陋的形象,另一半时间,她会呈现出美丽淑女的形象。他希望她白天什么样,晚上什么样?多么残忍的问题!加文开始考虑自己的尴尬处境。
白天,在朋友面前炫耀一位美丽的女人,而晚上,在自己私秘的家里,出现一个幽灵般的巫婆?或者,他宁愿白天拥有一个可怕的巫婆,而晚上,由一位美丽的女子相伴,时刻享受亲密温馨。
你会怎么做?
加文的选择就在下面,不过,先不要看,直到你做出自己的选择
高尚的加文回答道,他希望让她自己做出选择。
听到回答,她宣布说她愿意一直美丽,因为他尊重了她的意愿,让她主宰了自己的命运。
这个故事寓意何在呢?
其寓意在于,无论一个女人美丽还是丑陋,机灵还是愚蠢。在一切伪装之下,她始终是个……迷人的女巫!!!
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