笑话作为一种独特的幽默方式,是一个民族智慧的结晶。小编整理了简短爆笑的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇一

Wow!That's a Bi g One!

哇!那个真是大得吓人

One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.

某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。

"What,s this?" asked the tourist.

“这是什么呢?，’观光客问道。

"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"

“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”

Then, an armadillo ran past the door.

那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。

“What was that?" asked the tourist.

“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。

"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "

“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”

By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,

喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，

and he asked the location of the bathroom

他问哪里有洗手间，

The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,

酒保告诉他下楼后右转，

but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.

但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。

The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.

酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟，

As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "

刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇二

NO Sweat!

不费吹灰之力

There were four passengers in the small aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.

一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。

Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "

突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的消息：“各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。”

Naturally, the men were horrified。and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.

当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。

The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.

那名商人说道：“各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。

The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.

接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：“我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。

The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "

神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”

"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "

“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇三

No Fooling!

不要瞎混!

"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "

“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”

"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her husband with surprise.

“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，

"But you've been married three times. "

“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”

"That's true. dear; but my first husband was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;

“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。

my second husband was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;

我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。

and my third husband was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. ,"

我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：‘下星期我就回来看你。”