笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。小编整理了有关爆笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

有关爆笑英语笑话：Final Exams

One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn't study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could take the test after 3 days. The students graciously replied that they'd be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:

MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

INSTRUCTIONS :

All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

Q.1. Write down your name. ----- (2 POINTS)

Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. ----- (30 POINTS)

Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ------(20 POINTS)

Q.4. Which tire burst? ------- (28 POINTS)

Q.5. Who was driving? ------ (20 POINTS)

有关爆笑英语笑话：A Real Fortune-teller 真正的算命先生

While Milgrom waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune.

He dropped a quarter in the slot, and the computer screen displayed: "You weigh 195 pounds, you"re married and you're on your way to San Diego." Milgrom stood there dumbfounded.

Another man put in a quarter and the computer read："You weigh 184 pounds, you're divorced and you're on your way to Chicago."

Milgrom was amazed. Then he rushed to the men's room, changed his clothes and put on dark glasses. He went to the machine again. The computer read: "You still weigh 195 pounds, you're still married, and you just missed your plane to San Diego!"

米尔格鲁姆在机场等待登机的时候，注意到了一个电脑秤，它既能称体重又能算命。

他把一个两毛五的硬币丢进电脑秤的一个小孔里，电脑屏幕上显示出这样一行字：“你的体重是195磅，你已经结婚，你将要去往圣迭戈。”米尔格鲁姆顿时站在那里发起了愣。

又有一个人过来了， 他也把硬币丢进电脑秤里，屏幕上显示：“你的体重是184磅，你已经离婚了，你将要去往芝加哥。”

米尔格鲁姆很是惊讶。于是，他冲进洗手间，换了一套衣服，戴上了墨镜，又一次走到电脑称前。这次屏幕上显示：“你的体重依然是195磅，你依然是个结了婚的人。只是你刚刚错过飞往圣迭戈的飞机。”

有关爆笑英语笑话：Mr. Ferdinand's Lunch 费迪南德先生的午餐

One morning Mrs. Ferdinand said to her husband: "Roger, there's a meeting at Mrs. Young's house at lunch time today, and I want to go to it. I'll leave you some food for your lunch. Is that all right?" "Oh, yes." Her husband answered, "That's quite all right. What are you going to leave for my lunch?"

"This tin of fish," Mrs. Ferdinand said, "and there are some cold, boiled potatoes and somebeans here, too."

"That's good." Mr. Ferdinand said. "I'll have a good lunch." So Mrs. Ferdinand went to her meeting. All the ladies lunched at Mrs. Young's house, and at three o'clock Mrs. Ferdinand came home.

"Was your fish nice, Roger?" She asked.

"Yes, but my feet are hurting." He answered.

"Why are they hurting?" Mrs. Ferdinand asked.

"Well, the words on the tin are 'open tin and stand in hot water for five minutes!'"

一天早晨，费迪南德太太对丈夫说：“罗杰，今天杨太太要在午餐的时候在家里举办一个聚会，我打算去参加，我给你准备了些食品当午餐，行吗?”她的丈夫回答说：“行啊，很好。那你准备了些什么?”

费迪南德太太说：“一罐鱼，还有一些冷冻的炸土豆和青豆。”

费迪南德先生说：“真是棒极了，我可以享用一顿美味的午餐了。”说完，费迪南德太太去出席聚会了。周围所有的太太也都参加了杨太太家的聚会。直到下午三点的时候，费迪南德太太才回到家。

“罗杰，鱼好吃吗?”她问丈夫。

丈夫回答：“好吃，可是我的脚却弄伤了。”

费迪南德太太问：“怎么弄伤的?”

“你看，罐头的说明书上写着：’打开罐头，在烫水中站立5分钟’。”