冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。小编整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：Contented Married Life

令人满意的婚姻生活

A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”

"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”

"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。”

His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

他的朋友很惊奇的问道：“哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情?”

"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

“嗯，”他回答：“我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。”

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：约会完成进行时

A youngster asks a girl who comes to the date:" Is this your date with the young man for thefirst time? "" Too bloody right. Gee, how are you men all always asking this question?"

一个小伙子问前来赴约的女孩：“你是第一次和男孩子约会吗?”“那当然了。咦，怎么你们男孩子都爱问这个问题呀?”

爆笑英语笑话带翻译：主持人王宁和刘纯燕的亲属关系

Wang-Ning, News network host hastened home by motorcycle after work., his girlfriend Liu-Chunyan sat behind him on the pillion, who was dainty and cute children program hostess. Adevoted audience recognized him suddenly, saying "hello" passionately:" Hi, you pick up yourchild back?"

新闻联播节目主持人王宁下班后骑摩托车回家，车子后面带着他的女友，娇小玲珑的少儿节目主持人刘纯燕。一位忠实的观众忽然认出了他，热情地打招呼：“嗨，把孩子接回来了?”