笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编分享3到5分钟英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

3到5分钟英语笑话：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

then green again，but her car did not start.

“What am I going to do now?” She said.

But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。

因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”

但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”

上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。

“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。

这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”

3到5分钟英语笑话：开窗

A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

解决问题的好办法 一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。其中一位见窗户开着，就在落坐之前把窗户“把窗户打开，”第二位女士说道，“如果没有新鲜空气，我会被憋死的。” “不能打开，”第一位说道，“如果它开着，我会被冻死的。” 一场争吵开始，没完没了，直到那位绅士开口： “我们先让窗户关着，直到把这位女士憋死，然后再打开窗户，直到把这位女士冻死。那以后，这儿就可以恢复平静了。”

3到5分钟英语笑话：Virtue

Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

美 德

获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”