冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。小编精心收集了英语小笑话演讲稿，供大家欣赏学习!

英语小笑话演讲稿篇1

A Russian fellow has saved and saved and finally can purchase an automobile. He goes to the state store to order his car and is informed that it will be delivered in ten years. The man then asks:

一个俄国人不停地攒钱，最后他终于可以买车了，他来到了国营百货店订汽车，却被告之:汽车io年后才会送到，于是这个男的问:

"Will it be here in the morning or the aftermoon?"

“会在上午还是下午送到?”

"Why are you concerned? It’s quite some time from now.”

“你有什么可以担心的呢?从现在起还很长的一段时间呢。”

"Because the plumber is coming in the morning.

“因为管子工会在早晨到。”

英语小笑话演讲稿篇2

邮箱

A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still，she had no mail，and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again，she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The mailman won’t be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail" The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, `You've got mail.”’

一个金发女郎走出门来检查她的邮箱，她的邻居看见了她。她没有发现邮件，所以她就回到了家里。过了两分钟，这个金发女郎又出来第二次检查她的邮箱，她仍然没有发现邮件，她的邻居看见了有些迷惑。一分钟以后，这个女人又出来第三次检查邮箱，她还是一无所获。这回她的邻居走向前去问她:“邮递员三个小时内是不会来的。你为什么不断的检查你的邮箱呀?”那个金发女郎说:“噢，因为我的电脑总是告诉我‘你有新邮件’。”

英语小笑话演讲稿篇3

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache,cotton一mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise,” he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

约翰在一年一度的圣诞节晚会后醒来，他觉得头非常疼，嘴酸得说不出话来。他也想不起来前一个晚上发生了什么事情。去过了一趟厕所，他来到楼下，妻子给他倒了一杯咖啡。“路易斯，”他呻吟道，“告诉我昨天晚上发生了什么事?比我想象得还要糟糕吗?”

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”

“比你想得还要糟，”她的声音充满了轻蔑说，“你真是丑态百出。你和所有的公司董事作对。你还当着公司的董事长的面侮辱了他。”

"He's an idiot,” John said. "Piss on him.”

“他是个白痴，”约翰说，“就该冲他小便。”

"You did,” came the reply, "And he fired you.”

“你正是这么做的，”他的妻子回答，“他解雇了你。”

"Well, screw him!” said John.

“哼，修理他!”约翰说。

"I did. You’re back at work on Monday.”

“我正是这么做的。所以你星期一就又可以回去上班了。”