近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。本文是搞笑英语笑话及中文翻译，希望对大家有帮助!

搞笑英语笑话及中文翻译：My Husband Will Be Home Soon

A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

我丈夫马上就要回来了

一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。

“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”

詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”

“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。

“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”

在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。

妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”

搞笑英语笑话及中文翻译：Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

搞笑英语笑话及中文翻译：不会犯两次同样的错误

Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。

女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。