笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。小编整理了简短爆笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短爆笑的英语笑话篇一

你能不能多支持我一点?

The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically,

一位年轻的政客打电话给他母亲，高兴地说道：

"Hey, Mom, I just won the election! "

“嘿，妈，我刚赢得这次的选举呢!”

"Honestly, dear?" exclaimed his mother.

“你没在骗我吧，亲爱的?”他的妈妈惊叫。

" Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?"

“喔，妈!在这种时刻你还要提出像这样的问题吗?(你这时还不相信我吗/你还以为我是政客的虚假作风吗?)不相信我吗?”

简短爆笑的英语笑话篇二

临时改变主意

Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.

法兰克和佛烈德两人同一天收到召集令，两人都不想去服兵役。

But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.

但法兰克曾经听人说军中不收没有牙齿的人，因此他们两人都把所有的牙齿给拔掉了。

On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.

在体格检查那天，他们两人排在同一排队伍，可是有一个大块头、满身毛发而且臭味难当的卡车司机插在他们中间。

As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth.

当法兰克排到队伍的前头时，他对检查的班长说他没有牙齿，

The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,

那名士官要他张开嘴巴，接着用食指在他红肿的牙龈绕了一圈后说道：

"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "

“没错，你没牙齿，不用当兵!”

Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"

接着轮到卡车司机，士官说：“你有什么问题吗?”

The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."

卡车司机说道：“我患有严重的痔疮。”

The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it around thoroughly,

班长要那个家伙弯下身去，用他的食指在肛门转了一整圈后说道：

"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"

“没错，你的情形很严重，不合格!”

Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"

再轮到佛烈德时，班长又问：“那你的问题是什么?”

Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "

凝视着他的食指，佛烈德答道：“没什么问题，班长，我一点问题也没有。”

简短爆笑的英语笑话篇三

完美解决之道

President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with his staff.

史拉伯总统和他的幕僚正搭机横越美国上空。

Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:

忽然间他心中突发奇想，

"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "

“我想由窗口扔一张五十元美钞下去，让某个人高兴一下。”

"Mr.President,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"

“总统先生，您为什么不丢五张十元的钞票让五个人高兴呢?”

suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.

著名的国务卿建议道。

“Golly,Mr.President, why don't you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"

副总统派翠基接着说：“啊，总统先生，您为什么不丢五十张一元钞票，好让五十个人高兴呢?”

The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?"

这时飞机驾驶员转身说道：“为什么你不把自己丢出窗外，好让每个人都高兴呢?”