A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, empty the garbage, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman knows all about her children, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.