专四写作优秀作文赏析及亮点解析
下面是小编整理的专四写作优秀作文赏析及亮点解析，以供大家学习参考。
题目1：On Dormitory Security
写作要求
Dormitories on campus were reported to be broken into and burglaries happened regularly.
What should both students and universities do to reduce this kind of crime?
Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
On Dormitory Security
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your opinion is.
In the second part, provide one or two reasons to support your idea OR describe your idea.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriatenes. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
审题思路
本题是一道问题解决/建议型的题目，一般建议型题目的写法是复述题干内容 ，直截了当提出自己的建议, 然后摆事实讲道理说明该建议有什么好处 ，最后把文章引入一个自然的总结段中即可。但是根据这个题目的题干，重点不是用理由来支持某个建议，而是详述该建议是什么，即分小点说明学校和学生应该分别做些什么。
范文赏析
On Dormitory Security
It is reported that recently in quite a few universities, dormitories on campus have been broken into and burglaries have happened every now and then. In fact, students have complained a lot that burglaries are like nightmares in their college years. I think it’s high time that both students and universities did something to reduce and eliminate this kind of crime.
引言部分：作者先说明有报道说最近寝室遭窃的现象很多，困扰着学生们，然后提出学生和学校都应采取措施。
On the one hand, there are some measures which universities can take. First, universities should have all the dormitory doors and windows checked, find out and repair the broken ones so that thieves cannot go in easily. Second, the number of university security staff should be increased. Security personnel should patrol on campus and cross-question any suspicious person.
On the other hand, students should also do something to protect their belongings. First, when they leave their dormitories, they should keep doors and windows locked to keep out sneak10 thieves.Second, students should lock their valuables11 up in lockers12. In this way, they can reduce the risks of burglaries happening.
主体部分：作者分两方面来说，并在每方面下面又分了几个小点，这样一则可以丰富内容，二则使整篇文章逻辑清晰，衔接紧凑，成为一个完整的整体。
In one word, both students and universities should do something to reduce burglaries in dormitories. And only in a safe dormitory can a student live and study happily.
总结部分：作者用in one word自然而然地对上文进行了总结，并进一步说明只有寝室安全才能让学生生活和学习得更开心。
亮点回放
1. be broken into: “被闯入”，常用于指房子有窃贼闯入。
2. every now and then: “时而，不时” ;近义词有every now and again ，every so often, more often than not等 。
3. nightmare: “噩梦，使人特别痛苦的事情或经历”。
4. it s high time that: “该做某事的时候到了” ;如果在time前面有high ，the very等词 ，那么从句中要使用过去时。
5.eliminate: “除去，消除” ;这里还可以使用get rid of，root out ，wipe out ，weed out等来表示 同一意思。
6. personnel: “职员” ;作名词 ，注意personnel和personal(个人的)的区别。
7. patrol: “巡逻 ，巡查”。
8. cross-question: “盘问，审问” ;该词 的使用体现了作者词汇量的丰富和用词的精到。
9. suspicious: “可疑的，多疑的” ;也可以使用doubtable和questionable来代替 。
10. sneak : 常用作动词，表示 “偷偷摸摸做/走”，此处用作形容词，表示“出其不意的，暗中进行的”。
11. valuables: valuable常用作形容词 ，表示 “贵重的” ;当用作名词且为复数时 ，表示 “贵重物品”。
12. locker: “更衣箱，储物柜” ;该词用得非常到位 。
题目2：Academic Dishonesty on Campus
写作要求
Recent surveys show that a lot of college students download papers from the Internet to save the trouble of doing the assignments. This kind of academic dishonesty does harm to the students.
You are required to analyze its harmful effects and suggest some ways to prevent it.
Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
Academic Dishonesty on Campus
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your opinion is.
In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion with appropriate details.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
审题思路
本题是一道现象解释说明/结果预测型的题目，要求分析学术欺骗行为可能会有什么样的恶果，并提出预防措施 。可以从以下几方面进行分析 ：
关于结果方面：⑴ 对个人能力 、诚信等方面不利 ;⑵ 对他人不公平，造成恶劣影响 ;可以单说一项 ，也可以综合起来说 。
关于建议方面：⑴ 事先说明这种做法的后果，进行教育;⑵ 采取惩罚措施 。
范文赏析
Academic Dishonesty on Campus
It is shown in the recent surveys that many college students copy papers from the Internet to save the trouble of doing their assignments . In my opinion, this kind of academic dishonesty is very harmful to these students.
引言部分 ：作者先提出有学生从网上抄文章以完成老师布置的任务，然后提出自己的观点：这种行为对学生是不利的。
First, copying papers from the Internet makes students lazy. Copying papers from the Internet seems easy and can save some time and trouble; seldom work hard to complete their papers on their own. In other words, students will become lazier and lazier. Second, students can learn little from copying others’ work. Students cannot improve their abilities just by downloading papers from the Internet without their own thinking and working. What’s worse, once students get used to academic cheating, they may also cheat in other cases in the future, which will be very dangerous for them, especially when it’s put down in the honesty record .
主体部分：作者在这里给出了三个理由：使学生变懒 ;学不到东西，破坏诚信。这里使用 了first，second，what s worse来连接这些理由。这里的一个亮点是近义词的使用，如 ：copy papers from the Internet ，academic dishonesty ，copy others work ，download papers from the internet，academic cheating 等都是表示学术舞弊行为。
Therefore, in order to prevent academic dishonesty on campus, some punishments by the school may be necessary. But the most important thing is that teachers should talk to those students, and make them aware of the fact that copying others’ work cannot bring them any knowledge and that only by working hard can they improve themselves.
总结部分：作者用therefore自然引入结论部分，提出自己的建议：需要惩罚，但更要教育。
亮点回放
1.save the trouble of doing sth.:“省去做某事的麻烦”;
2.assignment : “任务，被指定的(课外 )作业” ;此处也可以用homework ，task等 ，但是assignment学术性更强些 ，在这里更恰当。
3.download :“下载”;这是常用的与网络相关的词语 ，常用 的还有upload ，copyand paste ，install ，uninstall等 。
4.inothercases: “在其他情况下” ;也可以用inothersituations ，onotheroccasions，under other circumstances等 。
5. be put down:“记下”;这里还可以用be written down ，be recorded等 。
6.honesty record: “诚信记录” ;也可以用integrity record来代替 。
7. talk to: 通常表示“和某人谈话” ，此处暗含着“教育某人”的意思 。
8.only by working hard can they improve themselves: “只有通过努力他们才能有所提高” 这里使用 的是部分倒装 的句式 。当only，hardly，scarcely，seldom等词放在句首时，通常要部分倒装。
题目3：Certification: A Way to Prove Oneself
写作要求
Nowadays many students will choose to study for some kind of certifi cation and it has been recognized as a way to prove one’s ability. Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:
Certifi cation: A Way to Prove Oneself
You are to write in three parts.
In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.
In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.
In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.
Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.
审题思路
本题是一道分析利弊/差异型的题目，要求论述证书对学生的重要性 ：证书是证明自己的一种方式。因此，本文的侧重点是证书是如何证明自己的，可以从以下方面论述 ：
其一 ，证书是学习能力的证明;
其二 ，证书是积极进取的证明;
其三 ，证书是兴趣广泛的证明。
Certification: A Way to Prove Oneself
For a growing number of Chinese people, the most productive thing to do with one’s spare time is to study for some kind of certification. From languages to business skills to teaching, certifications act as proof of one’s interest, attitude and ability. More and more, a resume with degrees and work experiences looks a bit boring; certifications are like accessories —they complete the outfit.
引言部分：作者提出了考证热这个现象，并亮出观点：证书是一个人兴趣爱好 、学习态度和学习能力的证明，因此 ，概括了主体部分将重点论述的方面。
Certifications accomplish several purposes. First, they show employers that one is diversified. While one’s interest is not limited to only one major, he will win himself more chances of jobs than others, which is likely to result in a good-paying job and better employability. Besides, certifications indicate that the owner is proactive; he is not sitting around in his spare time. Instead, he is constantly looking to improve himself. This is what sets one applicant apart from the rest when applying for a sought-after position.
What’s more important is that the certifications prove that the person has great potential as he is good at study and has a good sense of balance. He has made an effort to learn more skills while keeping focused on his major or occupation.
主体部分：作者采用的是总分式结构，先概述证书能起到几个作用 ，然后具体分述了三方面的作用：证书证明兴趣广泛，可以带来更多工作机会;说明态度积极进取，给人更好的印象表明学习能力出众，有潜力。
All in all, certifications give students more confidence in the job market as they demonstrate that the owners have wider interest, more proactive attitude and stronger learning ability.
总结部分：作者用all in all自然过渡到结尾段落，并再次概述证书的作用，可以给学生带来更多自信。
亮点回放
1. growing: “增强的，越来越多的” ;近义词为increasing。
2. certification: “证 明，证书 ，鉴定” ;注意与certificate的区别 。
3. act as: “起到……的作用 ，担任 ，充当”;近义词为perform as ，function as ，be used as等。
4. accessory: “附件 ，配件”。
5. outfit : “配备 ，装备 ” ;此处complete the outfit意思为 “使得整体 (这里指简历 )完整”。
6. accomplish several purposes: “起到几个作用” ，此处也可以用serve several purposes。
7. diversified: “多样化的，多种多样 的” ;此处也可以用versatile (多才多艺的 )。
8. win sb. sth.: “为某人赢得某物” ;win也可以换成gain 。
9. employability : “可用性 ，受雇就业能力” ;该词 的使用体现了作者较大的词汇量和灵 活运用能力 。
10. proactive: “先发制人的，积极的”;此处表示 “积极的”，也可以使用take the initiative。
11. sit around: “坐着没事干” ;不及物动词 ，后面可以接doing ，表示 “闲坐着干什么事”。此处可以用idle away one s spare time来替代 。
12. set sb. apart: “区别 ，分开 ，使与众不 同” ，后面可以接from sb. else ，可以用make sb. distinguished from sb. else来替代 。
13. sought-after: “很吃香的，备受欢迎的”;sought是seek 的过去分词，此处作形容词用。
14. demonstrate: “证明，演示，示范” ;本文中出现了很多近义词 ：show ，indicate ，prove和demonstrate ，这些增加了文章的变化性 。
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