笑话是一种增强快乐的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面小编为大家带来国外经典幽默故事四则，希望大家喜欢!

国外经典幽默故事：嗨，女人!

lf you kiss her, you are not a gentleman

吻她吧，不够君子

If you don't, you are not a man

不吻吧，不象汉子

lf you praise her, she thinks you are lying

夸她吧，说你欺骗

lf you don't, you are good for nothing

不夸吧，说你笨蛋

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing

顺她吧，说你气管炎

If you don't, you are not understanding

不顺吧，不善解人意

If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'

太浪漫，疑你老练

If you don't you are half a man

太规矩，魅力不足

lf you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring

常看她，招她厌烦

lf you don‘t, she accuses you of double crossing

少去点，怨你猎艳

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy

穿得好，说你花心

If you don't, you are a dull boy

邋遢些，缺个心眼

lf you are jealous, she says it's bad

吃醋吧，你太狭隘

If you don't she thinks you do not love her

大度点，说你不爱

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect

求欢吧，不够尊重

If you don't, she thinks you do not like her

安分吧，不够爱宠

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait

你晚了，她等得烦

If she is late, she says that's a girl's way

她晚了，女孩特权

国外经典幽默故事：两个律师

Two attomsys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches herel" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

两个律师走进一个餐厅点了两杯饮料，然后从手提箱中拿出三明治开始吃起来。餐厅老板走过来说道：“你们不能在这里吃自己的三明治。”两个律师对看了一眼，耸耸肩，然后交换了手中的三明治。

国外经典幽默故事：如何拒绝男孩

Boy: Can I buy you a drink ?

男孩：我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?

Girl: Actually l'd rather have the money.

女孩：事实上，我更希望用钱o

Boy: Can I have your name ?

男孩：可以告诉我你的名字吗?(直译：我能有你的名字吗?)

Girl: Why ? Dont you already have one ?

女孩：为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?

Boy ; l'm a photographsr. l've been looking for a face like yours.

男孩：我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

Girl: l'm a plastic surgoon. l've been looking for a face like yours.

女孩：我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。

Boy: Is this seat empty ?

男孩：你旁边有人吗?(直译：这个座位是空的吧?)

Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。

Boy : Haven't I seen you some place before ?

男孩：我好象以前在什么地方见过你?

Girl: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

女孩：是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。

Boy: Will you go out with me this Saturday ?

男孩：这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?

Girl: Sorry. l'm having a headache this weekend.

女孩：抱歉.这个周末我头疼。

Boy : I think I could make you very happy.

男孩：我想我能让你非常快乐。

Girl: Why ? Are you leaving ?

女孩：是吗?你是说你要离开?

Boy: May I hold your hand .

男孩：我能牵着你的手吗?

Girl; No thanks, it isntt heavy.

女孩：不用了，我自己能拿的动。

Boy; Hi, didn't we go on dates before ? once or twice ?

男孩：我们以前有过一两次幽会吧

Girl: Must've been once.l never make the same mistake twice.

女孩：肯定只有一次，我从不会犯两次同样的错误o

Boy: l'd like to call you. your number?

男孩：能告诉我你的电话号码吗?

Girl:lt's in the phone book.

女孩：在电话本里。

国外经典幽默故事：人也嫁错了

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"The other woman replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

在一个鸡尾酒舞会上，一个女人对另外一个女人说：“你的结婚戒指带错手指了。 男一个回答说：“是的，人也嫁错了。”