笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。几乎所有笑话都包含两个要点:一是笑话开头,二是笑点。下面是小编整理的小学五年级英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

小学五年级英语笑话篇一

Do You Know Santa's True Profession?

Consider the following:

1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."

2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.

3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.

4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.

5. Santa travels a lot.

Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!

圣诞老人的真实职业是什么?

考虑以下几点

1. 你其实从来没见过圣诞老人，你看见的都是他得助手(他得助手真的好多，除了过圣诞节的所有父母外，还有职业“圣诞老人”)

2. 圣诞老人不想退休，就可以一直当他的圣诞老人。

3. 圣诞老人不会做实事，他都是指挥一堆帮手帮他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好还是不好，功绩和责任都算圣诞老人的。

4. 圣诞老人实行的可不是朝九晚五双休制。

5. 圣诞老人经常旅行

圣诞老人显然是一个高级职员(please, 这世界上还有比他的工作更好的工作吗?)

小学五年级英语笑话篇二

How to be like a gentleman

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。

孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”

迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”

他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”

迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”

小学五年级英语笑话篇三

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

小学五年级英语笑话篇四

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

小学五年级英语笑话篇五

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”

杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”