笑话可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康，同时也使我们成为一个心胸宽广的人。小编分享幽默英语小笑话短文，希望可以帮助大家!

幽默英语小笑话短文：轻而易举

Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son，Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally，I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement，I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.

出了厨房我便走进了车库，不留神把门锁给撞上了，把我自己锁在了门外。我那18个月的儿子泰勒在屋里。于走，我在外边千方百计地想让他帮我开门，结果均告失败。最后，我围着房子想找个开着的窗子。令我吃惊的是，前门开着，我的儿子站在门口正与一个推销员在谈话。

"I've been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"

我对那推销员说:“我被锁在了外边20多分钟，你是怎样让他给你开门的”。

Looking puzzled，the man replied，“I rang the doorbell."

面带惊奇的推销员答说:“我只按了一下门铃。”

幽默英语小笑话短文：漫无边际的菜单

A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they don't have something. They'll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then they'll come back and say they just ran out.”

一位和朋友吃饭的男士解释他们在饭馆里吃饭的怪现象时说:“服务员从未承认过他们没有什么莱。假如你想要一份太阳，他们也会拿着菜单离去，好像真能给你弄来似的。然后，他们回来说这道菜刚卖完。”为了证明这一点，我说:“请来一份恐龙。”

To prove his point，he said to the waiter,“The dinosaur，please.”

“好的，先生，”服务员回答说:“您要的恐龙是做得嫩点还是老点儿的?”

“Yes，sir，“answered the waiter.”And how would you like it cooked?"

“老点儿的。”

"Well done!"

服务员离开了，又很快回来了。“对不起，先生，我们的恐龙菜刚卖完。”

The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”

“什么?”顾客气愤地说:“没有恐龙?”

" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"

那服务员低声地说:“我们的确还剩一些。”他显得作常自信的样子。“但恐龙肉有点儿不太鲜了，所以我们还是不给您上这道菜的好。”

The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”

幽默英语小笑话短文：规定

It was sunny and warm when our neighbor, Danny，left home for his first day of school. He was the proud if reluctaut possessor of a new sport coat and tie，since his school had a dress requirement.

今天是个晴天，天气暖和。我的邻居丹尼今天第一天上学。因为学校在穿着上有所要求，丹尼只好穿上新运动衣，还戴上条有带。

At dismissal time，it was hot out. I could see Danny's mom watching from her front door to catch a glimpse of her handsome young man getting off the school bus. Finally，he appeared- tie undone，lunch box in hand，no coat in sight.

下午放学时，天气有点热。我看见丹尼的母亲站在门口，等着看看她那漂亮儿子从校车上下来。一会儿丹尼出现了。领带没系，夹着午饭盒，新运动衣不见了.

His mother yelled，"Danny，where's your jacket?"

母亲生气地喊道:“丹尼，你的运动衣呢?”

“It's okay，Mom，"he hollered. "It's in my lunch box.”

他喊看说:“别担心，它在我的午餐盒里.”