笑话是一种增强快乐的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面小编为大家带来外国最新幽默故事三则，希望大家喜欢!

外国最新幽默故事：别着急

A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy，walks up to the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him that the pharmacist is not available. The man asks the young clerk if he can recommend anything for his cough. The clerk gives him a bottle of some medicine for his cough. The customer takes a big swig, then after a few minutes，with no apparent relief, he takes another, and another.

一个人咳嗽得非常厉害，他到药房去抓药。当他走近柜台找药剂师的时候，一个年轻的店员告诉他药剂师这会儿很忙。那个人就问这个年轻的店员能不能给他点药来止咳。那个店员就给他一瓶药水止咳，那个人就喝下一大口。过了几分钟，症状没有明显的好转，他就又喝了一大口，接着又一大口。

In a short while, the pharmacist returns，and sees his old friend，the customer with the cough, sitting quietly in a booth near the soda fountain. He says to his clerk that the fellow has never before stopped at the soda fountain.

过了不久，药剂师回来看到他，那咳嗽的老朋友，安静地坐在冰柜旁。他对他的店员说，那个人从来没有在冰柜旁逗留过，现在是怎么回事?

The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction. The pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily reprimands the clerk for recommending a laxative，instead of cough syrup. The clerk reminds the pharmacist whatever the mode, the medication was effective. The pharmacist replies,"Now, he’s afraid to cough!”

那个年轻的店员把自己处理的办法自豪地告诉药剂师。药剂师看着他给的药，严厉地责备店员怎么能用泻药而不是止咳糖浆来止咳。店员提醒药剂师，不管什么方法，药开始起作用了。药剂师反驳说:“现在他是不敢咳嗽了!”

外国最新幽默故事：春季种植

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.

一位将军因为一点小病在一所军队医院里接受治疗。整整一周他都在挑刺找麻烦，这使医院的工作人员和病友们对他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每个命令都要得到执行。他住在一个六人病房里，他的饭不能是凉的，也不能不合他的口味，就连灯光也要调到他需要的亮度，夜里有什么动静也不能影响他的休息，等等。

One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”

一天下午一个勤务兵走进病房。“该测体温了，将军。”

After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.

在和这个勤务兵咆哮了一通之后，将军张开了他的嘴同意测量体温。

"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”

“对不起，将军，但是这回要测的是您直肠温度。”

A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”

又一阵疯狂的言语辱骂之后，那个勤务兵执意坚持要测的是直肠体温。最后，将军翻了过去，脱下了裤子，接着卫兵开始了测量。那个勤务兵对将军说:“就这样不要动，我五分钟后回来检查后再拿出来。”

An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”

一个小时之后，护十长走进病房，看见将军露着他的屁股就问:“这是怎么回事?”

"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.

“你没看见有人正在接受体温测量吗?”那个将军大声嚷道。

"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"

“是的，我看见了。将军，但是那不是温度计而是一棵水仙呀。”

外国最新幽默故事：真正的勇气

An American General，a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts，"Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!"

一位美国将军、一位俄罗斯将军和一位英国将军站在一艘船的甲板上看着军事演习他们谈论着人的勇气，这时俄罗斯将军吹嘘道:“俄罗斯的士兵是世界上最勇敢的人!”

Upon which the American challenges him: "Oh YEAH?"

对此，美国将军反问道:“哦?真的吗?”

The Russian says, "Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck ( into the freezing Atlantic) and swim around the ship!"Yuri marches off without a word, and does as he is told. The Russian turns around and says: "See，there' s an example of courage!"

俄罗斯将军说:“当然，不信看着。尤芮，从甲板上跳下去绕着船游一圈。”(下面就是冰冷的大西洋)尤芮二话没说就按命令跳了下去。俄罗斯将军转过头说:“看见了吗?这就是勇气的例子。”

The American has to top this，so he calls up one of his underlings and gives him the order: "Jack, Jump off the main mast into the ocean，and swim around the ship seventimes!"

Poor Jack goes off without a murmur, and he too does as he is told. The American General says: "Now top that for courage!"

美国将军不服气，所以就叫来他的一个部下命令道:“杰克，从桅杆上跳下去，然后绕着船游七圈。”可怜的杰克没吭一声地服从了命令。然后，美国将军说:“这才叫做勇气。”

So they both turn around to the British General who has been standing around watching these antics silently. They ask him:“What about your people?"

接着他们都转向了一直站在旁边静静观看的英国将军，然后他们问他:“你们的人怎么样?”

So the British guy(alls up one of his people and says: "Trevor, jump off the mast and swim under the keel of the ship, will you , old chap?"

英国将军叫来了一个人说:“特雷弗，从桅杆上跳下去，然后从船底下游过去，听见了吗，老家伙?”

Trevor stares at his general.

特雷弗瞪着他的将军。

"Let me get this right. You want me to jump off the mast."

“你的意思是说让我从桅杆上跳下去。”

"Yes."

“对。”

"And swim under the keel."

“然后从船底下游过去。”

"Yes."

“对。”

"You must be daft!"

“你一定是发疯了!”

And so saying, Trevor turns around and saunters off. Whereupon the British General turns to the other two and says，"Now there’s an example of TRUE courage!"

说着，特雷弗转过身去，闲庭漫步般走去。于是英国将军转过来对那两个人说:“现在这才叫真正的勇气呢!”