英语民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。小编整理了简短英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短英语笑话：Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行。

简短英语笑话：A Present

Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

Kate: A nice teapot.

Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?

凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

简短英语笑话：A Useful Way

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

Father: What's that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?

杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。

爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?

杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。

简短英语笑话：Two Cows

A farmer had a brown cow and a white cow, and he wanted to get them bred, so he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture.

He told his son to watch and tell him when the bull was finished.

After a while the boy came into the living room where his father was talking to some friends.

"Say, Pop", said the boy.

"Yes", replied the father.

"The bull has just screwed the brown cow!".

There was a sudden silence in the conversation. The father asked his friends to excuse him for a moment, took his son outside and said:

"Son, you musn't use language like that, especially in front of company. You should say that the bull 'surprised' the cow. now go and watch and tell me when the bull 'surprises' the white cow".

The father went back inside the house.

After a while the boy came back and said "Hey, Daddy!".

"Yes, son, did the bull 'surprise' the white cow"?

"He sure did, Pop! he screwed the brown cow again!"

简短英语笑话：Legs In The Air

Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigormortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why is his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"