笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。小编整理了小学爆笑的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

小学爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：提前了的圣诞大抢购

An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?"The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year."

有个犯人被带到法官面前审案，法官问他：“你犯了什么罪?”犯人说：“因为我在新年时，太早去采购了。”

The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I was already inside."

法官说：“这不是罪呀!可能是弄错吧?那你多早去采购呢?”他说：“商店还没开门，我就已经进去了。”

小学爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：吝啬鬼被下地狱

When a very miserly man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."

有一个人很吝啬，叫吝啬鬼，他死了以后下地狱，阎罗王骂他说：“你这个吝啬鬼，在尘间的时候什么东西都抓很紧不放，什么人都不给，看到贫穷、痛苦的人也不帮助，父母、亲戚、朋友也没有照顾好，让他们都挨饿受苦，你这种凶恶的业障，应该被放入滚开的油锅里面。”

The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"

鬼差就带他到滚得很热、很烫的油锅那边，吝啬鬼一看就说：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那么多，怎么那么浪费呢?你们先把这些油倒出来，卖出去后把钱给我，然后丢我在热烫的水里就可以了!何必用油，而且还用那么多油!”

小学爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：话说最佳兴奋剂

A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

病人跟医生说：“医生，请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”

So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

医生说：“别担心，这个拿去，看到这张帐单以后，你要的这些就都会有了。”

小学爆笑的英语笑话带翻译：精确到1亿零三年的准确数字

A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.How oldare these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.Exactlyone hundred million and three years old.

一位游客在新墨西哥游览，他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。这些化石有多长的历史?游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人，他是作向导的。整整十亿零三年了。

How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.Well, replied the guide, a geologist came by hereand told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three yearsago.

你怎么这么肯定?游客问道。哦，向导回答道，一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。