笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面小编为大家带来英语笑话幽默带翻译，希望大家喜欢!

英语笑话幽默1：

When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "

一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”

The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.

这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。

"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.

“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。

"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "

“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”

"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.

“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。

" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.

鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”

###英语笑话幽默2：

A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.

一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时，有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们，不要舍不得花钱，一切费用由他来支付。

Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."

事隔不久，做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票，他付了帐。从这以后，他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇，于是就写信给其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。

他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗，所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”

英语笑话幽默3：

I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.

当听说我72岁的母亲居然开着12年的旧车行驶了900英里来看我时，我真有些吃惊。在我问她是如何做的时候，她告诉我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，给汽车加油后却没有住旅馆的钱。

"What did you do?"I asked.

“那你怎么办了?”我问道。

" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.

她说:“嗨，我开到这个镇子时，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他问我是否喝了酒，我说没喝。警察问我为什么开车在路上打晃晃。于是我解释了我的情况。他命令道:“跟我走。”就这样，我们就开到了一个汽车旅馆。警察替我付了住店费。

"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”

妈妈接着说:“他离开时，转过身，冲着我说:‘夫人，你下次要看儿女时，请走另一条路线吧!’”

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