冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。小编精心收集了两分钟之内的英文笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

两分钟之内的英文笑话：Gone Shopping

购物

Our supermarket had a sald on boneless chicken breasts,and a woman I know ontended tostock up .

我们的超级市，场在廉价拍卖无骨鸡胸，我认识的某位女士打算去多买一些。

At the store,However,she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portopnsof the poultry,

然而，到了这家肉店的时候她感到很失望，因为只找到一点点事先就包装好的鸡肉，

so she complained to the butcher.

所以她就向这位肉店老板抱怨。

"don't worry,lady," he said.

他说：“小姐，别担心，

"I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

我会替你多包几盘，在你买完东西的时候把它们准备好。”

Several aisles later ,my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over th public-address system:

逛完几个走道之后，我的朋友听到肉店老板的声音透过公共广播系统隆隆地说

"Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?"

“那位想要大胸部的小姐请到本店后方来见我好吗?”

两分钟之内的英文笑话：For the Dog

The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

喂狗

一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。

‘先生，什么事?“服务生问。 ’

我儿子的盘子里剩下许多肉，“父亲说，

‘能给我们一个袋子吗?我把剩下的东西带回去喂狗。’

‘啊呀，爸爸!’儿子激动地叫喊着。‘咱家养狗了吗? ’

两分钟之内的英文笑话：Hogarth

The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.

What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of thecelebrated passage.

That's it, replied Hogarth.

But, where are the Israelites?

They are all gone over.

Where are the Egyptians?

They're all drowned.

霍迦斯

一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。

这是什么?那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。

这就是，霍迦斯回答说。

可是以色列人在哪儿?

他们都已经渡过去了。

埃及人在哪儿?

他们全都淹死了。