幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。优秀的幽默作品不仅逗人发笑,还丰富人们的想象,活跃思维,启迪智慧,培育幽默感。下面是小编带来的经典英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

经典英语小笑话篇一

Who do you think you are? 你以为你是谁?

The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let himaboard.

It is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are?

I am the driver. he said.

公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。

车上太挤了，他们喊道，你以为你是谁?

我是司机!他说。

经典英语小笑话篇二

It's not that 不是那样的

A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

A: No, it wasn't raining.

A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

B：啊?那一定是把很大的伞吧!

A：不是，当时并没有下雨。

经典英语小笑话篇三

Asking for a Raise 要求加薪

At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.

After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans,maniacal(疯狂的) screams, hysterical(歇斯底里的) laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?

我在一家电台工作。经理把我叫进他的办公室，让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响效果设备。他关上门，以免打扰外面办公室的人。

听了几个常规的音响效果后，我们开始试听低声的呻吟，狂乱的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求声和枪声。最后我开门出去，从经理秘书旁边经过时，她抬起头问道：又要求加薪了?

经典英语小笑话篇四

I know I could count on you 我知道你会帮我

Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic(阁楼) and the garage."

"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"

史密斯去找他的老板。“老板，我们家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。”

“可我们很缺人，史密斯。”老板答道，“我不可能放你的假。”

“谢谢，老板。”史密斯说，“我就知道你会帮我。”

经典英语小笑话篇五

Grandpa will pay the bill 爷爷给我付账

Walking up to a department store's fabric(织物，布) counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk(假笑，傻笑) . "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly(故意使人烦恼地) held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer(老家伙) standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱?”

“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”

带着期待的表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。

女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。”