冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。小编精心收集了大学生英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

大学生英语小笑话篇1

教授的逻辑

A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence.The professor presented the following logic:

大学生们在上哲学课，讨论上帝是否存在的问题。教授给出了下面的逻辑推理:

"Has anyone in this class heard Gods Nobody spoke.

“班上有谁听见过上帝吗?”没人说话。

"Has anyone in this class touched God?”Again nobody spoke.

“班上有谁触摸过上帝吗?”还是没有人说话。

"Has anyone in this class seen God?"When nobody spoke for the hird time，he simply stated，"Then there is no God.”

“班上有谁看见过上帝吗?”当第三次还是没有人说话时，教授就说:“所以，上帝是不存在的。”

One student thought for a second，and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student’s response，the professor granted it，and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

一名学生思考了一下，要求回答问题。教授很好奇，想知道这个大胆的学生有什么反应，就同意了。学生站了起来，问了他的同学下面几个问题:

"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?"Silence.

“班上有谁听见过我们教授的脑子吗?”沉默。

"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?”Silence.

“班上有谁触摸过我们教授的脑子吗?”沉默。

When nobody in the class dared to speak，the student concluded，"Then，according to our professor’s logic，it must be true that our professor has no brain !”

班上没有人敢说话，这名学生总结道:“所以，根据我们教授的逻辑，我们的教授一定没有脑子。”

大学生英语小笑话篇2

海伦的眼镜

Helen’s eyes was not very good，so she usually wore glasses.But when she was seventeen and she began to go out with a young man，she never wore her glasses when she was with him. When he came to the door totake her out，she took her glasses off，andwhen she came home again and he left，sheput them on.

海伦的视力不是很好，所以她通常都戴眼镜。但17岁的时候，她开始跟一个男孩外出约会，约会的时候她从不戴眼镜。每次男孩来到她家门口带她出去，她就把眼镜摘掉，等回家后男孩走了，她再把眼镜戴上。

One day her mother said to her，“But Helen，why do you never wear your glasses when you are with Jim? He takes you to beautiful places in his car, but you do not see anything.”

一天，她妈妈跟她说，“海伦，为什么你跟吉姆在一起的时侯从不戴眼镜?他开车把你带到美丽的地方去，可是你却什么都看不见。”

"Well，Mother，”said Helen，“I look prettier to Jim when I am not wearing glasses and he looks better to me too!”

“不过，妈妈，”海伦说，“我不戴眼镜的时候吉姆就会觉得我更加美丽，而且我也会觉得他更好看。”

大学生英语小笑话篇3

约会的话题

A boy is about to go on his first date，and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

一个男到匕第一次赴约会，他很紧张，不知道谈些什么，就去请教他的父亲。

The father replies，“My son，there are three subjects that always work. These are food，family，and philosophy.”

父亲回答:“孩子，有三个话题一向百试不爽、万用万灵，那就是食物、家人和哲学。”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them，they stare at each other for a long time，as the boy's nervousness builds.

男孩儿去赴约了，他们进了一家冷饮店，喝着冰激凌苏打水。两个人大眼瞪小眼地看着对方，男到匕越发紧张了。

He remembers his father's advice，and chooses the first topic.

他想起了父亲的建议，选择了第一个话题。

He asks the girl，“Do you like spinach?”She says“No"，and the silence returns.

他问女孩儿:“你喜欢吃菠菜吗?”女到七说不喜欢。两人又归于沉默。

After a few more uncomfortable minutes，the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the Iist.He asks，"Do yow have a brother?”Again，the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.

煎熬的几分钟后，男孩儿想起了父亲的建议，转向第二个话题。他问:“你有兄弟吗?”女孩儿说“没有”。又是沉默。

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question，“If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

男孩儿使出了杀手铜。他想起父亲的建议，问了女孩下面这个问题:“如果你有了兄弟，他会喜欢吃菠菜吗?”