笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。它是人们生活中不可或缺的组成部分,与社会密切相关。小编精心收集了简短的爆笑英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

简短的爆笑英文小笑话：哲学考试

A philosophy professor warned the classhe was going to give them a test.

一位哲学教授通知学生他要举行一场考试。

When the day came he entered the classroom,wordlessly placed his chair on the tableand,turning to the blackboard, wrote,

考试那天，他走进教室，一言不发地把自己的椅子放到讲台上，然后转身在黑板上写道，

"Prove to me this chair does not exist."

“请向我证明这张椅子不存在。”

Most of the nervous studentbegan intently scribbling out long dissertations.

大多数学生很紧张，都开始专心地写他们的论文。

But one member of the class wrote down just two words,and then handed his paper to theteacher.

只有一个学生只写了两个单词就交卷了。

The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:"What chair?"

当教授看到这个学生的答案时，不由微笑了，只见他写的是：“什么椅子啊?”

简短的爆笑英文小笑话：再活40年

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院，

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，

Seeing God, she asked if this was it.

她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。

God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。”

Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction,breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her haircolor, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.

身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。

She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed byan ambulance speeding to the hospital.

做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?

再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?”

"God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。

简短的爆笑英文小笑话：五百遍

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,

在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，

a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。

She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.

女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。

A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.

法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗?

"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯'500遍。”