幽默的内在根源不是欢乐，而是悲哀;天堂里是没有幽默的。小编精心收集了有关英语幽默小短文，供大家欣赏学习!

有关英语幽默小短文篇1

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

布莱恩抱着一只火鸡，非常苦恼，他说：“原谅我，神父，我有罪。我偷来这只火鸡给我家人吃。你能告慰我的罪吗”

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

“当然不行，”神父说。“你必须把它还回去，这样才能赎罪。”

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

“我试过了。”布莱恩抽泣着，“但是他拒绝了。神父，我到底该怎么办呢?”

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

“如果你说的是真的，那你就留着它吧。”

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

谢过了神父，布莱恩跑开了。

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

告诫会结束后 ，神父回到住处。当他走到厨房的时候，他发现火鸡不见了。

有关英语幽默小短文篇2

So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.

有个人在宠物店发现了一只美丽的鹦鹉，但是它的一只脚上牵着蓝色的绳子，而另一只牵着红色的。这个人觉得有些奇怪，就去问店主绳子是做什么的?

"Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English".

“噢，这是一只训练有素的鹦鹉。”店主回答道。“如果你拉动红绳子，它会讲法语，如果你拉动蓝绳子，它就讲英语”

"Wow" exclaims the man shopping, "That's really neat. What happens if you pull them both at the same time?"

“哇塞，”这个人感到很惊讶。“太厉害了。那如果你同时拉呢?”

"I fall off my perch you idiot!" exclaims the parrot.

“我会从架子上跌倒的!你个笨蛋!”鹦鹉回答道。

有关英语幽默小短文篇3

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

一个小女孩问她的妈妈，“妈妈，我可以带狗狗去街角散步吗?”

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

妈妈回答说，“不，因为她有些热。”

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

“那是什么意思?”小女孩问。

"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

“问你爸爸去吧，”妈妈回答道，“他应该在车库里。”

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

于是小女孩就去了车库里，说“爸爸，我可以带Belle去街角散散步吗?我问了妈妈，但她说狗狗有些热，让我来问问你。”

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

爸爸说，“把Belle带过来吧。”他拿了跟布条，用汽油浸过，然后绑在了狗狗的背上用力擦了擦狗狗的背，说“好了，你现在可以去了，但是得一直拿着Belle的皮带，并且只能在街角走一次。”

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

小女孩离开了，几分钟后便回来了，狗没有一起回来。爸爸感到很惊讶，问道，“Belle呢?”

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

小女孩说，“她半路就把背上的汽油挥发光了，然后另外一只狗就'奋勇前进'了。”