近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。小编整理了简短正能量英文笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短正能量英文笑话篇一

再活40年

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院，

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，

Seeing God, she asked if this was it.

她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。

God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。”

Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction,breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her haircolor, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it.

身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。

She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed byan ambulance speeding to the hospital.

做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years?

再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?”

"God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。

简短正能量英文笑话篇二

会弹钢琴的狗

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。

The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”

The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink onthe house!"

那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”

So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

服务生回答说，“呃， 如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”

Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的… …服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags himout.

突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来 ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事?”

The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

那人回答 ，“噢，那是它妈妈。 她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”

简短正能量英文笑话篇三

五百遍

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,

在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，

a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。

She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.

女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。

A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he.

法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗?

"Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯'500遍。”