冷笑话的主要应用群体是熟悉网络的平民、青年、学生、白领等,他们具备熟练的网络技能、很强的接受新事物的能力以及开拓创新的精神。下面是小编带来的经典英语笑话短文阅读，欢迎阅读!

经典英语笑话短文阅读篇一

Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.

在纽约至华盛顿的半路上，火车的引擎突然没声儿了。

"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.

“我有好消息和坏消息宣布”列车长通过广播说。

"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.

“坏消息是我们失去动力了” 同车的乘客们不禁抱怨了起来。

"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."

“至于好消息”，他补充说，“是我们没有在3万英尺上巡航”。

经典英语笑话短文阅读篇二

He loves chocolate chip cookies 他爱吃巧克力块曲奇

An old man was laying on his death bed.

老人躺在床上，

He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.

只能再活几个小时了。突然，他闻到了巧克力块曲奇的味道，

He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.

他最爱吃这种饼干了。

With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.

用他最后一点力气，老人翻下床，爬到楼梯那，下楼到了厨房。

Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.

他老伴正在做巧克力块曲奇。

As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.

他拿了一块，这时手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，

"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"

“放下，”她说，“这是葬礼上用的!”

经典英语笑话短文阅读篇三

Honest?诚实吗

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

在动物园，我无意中听到两个学龄前的小男孩在聊天。

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second.

“我叫Billy。你叫什么名字?” 一个男孩问题。“Tommy”，另一个男孩回答。

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

“我爸爸是一位会计师，你爸爸是做什么的?”Billy问Tommy。

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy.

“我爸爸是一位律师，”Tommy回答。“真的吗?”Billy问。

"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

“不是啦，就跟别的律师一样。”Tommy回答。

经典英语笑话短文阅读篇四

How could a Chihuahua kill a Rottweiler?吉娃娃怎么可能会要了罗特韦尔的命

A man walks into a bar one day and asks,"Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"

一个男人走进酒吧问，“外面那条罗特韦尔狗是谁的?”

"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

“我的，” 一个骑摩托车的男人站起来说，“怎么了?”

";Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him""What are you talkin' about?!"the biker says, disbelievingly.

“哦，我想我的吉娃娃刚要了它的命……”“你在说什么啊?”骑摩托的人觉得难以置信，

"How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

说，“就凭你那只小不点，怎么可能杀得了我的罗特韦尔狗?”“哦，它卡在你的狗的喉咙里了。”

经典英语笑话短文阅读篇五

If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一台电脑

You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

你可以通过控制面板增加或者删除一些人;

You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

可以把孩子放进回收站，然后在你喜欢的时候再还原。

You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

可以通过调整显示器的设置让外表更好看;

You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

可以在吵闹的时候关掉音箱;

You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

可以点击“搜索”找到丢失了的遥控器和车钥匙;

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

锻炼身体的时候，点击“运行”。

If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

要是你的生活一团糟，同时按下“ctrl, alt, delete”键，一切重新开始。