下面是小编整理的简单英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

简单英语笑话：If I Am a Manager

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。

所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。

“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

简单英语笑话：Isn’t it wonderful?

"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

"I broke a mirror," he replied.

"But that means seven years of bad luck."

"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

这难道不好吗?

“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。

“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。

“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”

“我知道。”他高兴地说，“这难道不好吗?”

简单英语笑话：Whats time to a pig?

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，“时间对猪有什么意义?”

简单英语笑话：我和老师的故事

Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

老师：汤姆!约翰!你俩今天为什么迟到了!

Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

汤姆：老师，我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。

Teachear: John, what about you?

老师：那么你呢，约翰?

John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

约翰：老师，我不能动啊，我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。

简单英语笑话：Goldfish 金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?

Stan: In the bathroom.

斯丹：浴室。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?

Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!

简单英语笑话：你以为你是谁?Who do you think you are?

The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.

“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”

“I am the driver.” he said.

公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。

“车上太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁?”

“我是司机!”他说。

简单英语笑话：疯人院 The Looney Bin

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”

简单英语笑话：狗也知道这个谚语吗?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”