英语笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。小编精心收集了关于大学英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

关于大学英语笑话：I can not see it at all

我根本就看不见

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

关于大学英语笑话：Johnny is busy now

It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.

'Hello, who's that?' she asked.

'It's me--Peter.'

Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.

'Can I speak to Johnny?'

'No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I've got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'

关于大学英语笑话：Brave Cursing

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cursing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

关于大学英语笑话：Bad Books

Kid's Books That Should Never Be Written:

'You Were an Accident'

'Strangers Have the Best Candy'

'The Little Sissy Who Snitched'

'Some Kittens Can Fly!'

'The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion'

'How to Dress Sexy for Grownups'

'Getting More Chocolate on Your Face'

'Where Would You Like to Be Buried?'

'Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her'

'The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North

Amer Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!'

'All Dogs Go to Hell'

'The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking'

'When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It'

'Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia'

'What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?'

'Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?'

'Bi-Curious George'

'Daddy Drinks Because You Cry'

'Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver'

'You Are Different and That's Bad'

'Why God Burned Down Disney Land'

关于大学英语笑话：Fly jokes

How do fireflies start a race?

Ready steady glow!

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?

The one in the sugar bowl!

How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?

Put a pile of manure in the living room!

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?

A firefly with a short circuit!

Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug!

Why did the firefly keep stealing things?

He was light fingered!

Why were the flies playing football in saucer?

They where playing for the cup!

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied 'er!